WadEva man

I'M ATTACHED!

2010-04-09T14:32:00.003+08:00

OK, my new girlfriend has been asking me if I was gonna update my blog so shall resurrect it with a new post and try to update it since now work is starting to wind down for me, in ORD mode and 1 month MC coming up I think I actually have the time to do it.

First off, to those who don't know yet, yes I am now officially attached with someone!! :D haha been quite caught up with answering people's questions and seeing and feeling all the shocked and happy comments. It really is like one of the best experiences in my life at the moment and really enjoying it. :D

Well Gwen I UPDATED!!! haha with something I am not sure if you are expecting but everyone else, keep a look out here and will try to post stuff that is going on and everything. So till next time peace out!

Marley And Me

2009-07-29T22:01:00.000+08:00

Wah really cannot believe I can cry so much watching a show. Marley and me really made me cry more then any other show that I have ever watched, honestly.I mean shows like I Not Stupid 2 I did tear abit but this show really started the waterworks. I guess besides me being a doggy person this show really helped me to enjoy something about animals that totally cannot be found in people.

At the end of the show, the writer of the show really ended it really well to sum up about having a pet. "A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water log stick will do just fine. A dog doesn't care if your rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he'll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary?" Seriously, sometimes or rather many times, I feel that the person that understands me the most is actually my dog.

Now to bring you back many years when I was in primary school. For most of you, I guess you may not know that my current dog Sinead (an Italian Greyhound) is kinda like my second dog and I love her so much. But my first dog is called Gnasher and watching this show really makes me think of him. The destructive bit and the hyper activeness really is quite similar except well, Marley is like 100 pounds and Gnasher was at most 30 pounds. But he was really an amazing dog where he sort of can sense so many things. Like when my mum used to scold me and stuff, he would patiently sit with me while I complained and sort of just being there for me. And many times when he wanted to play it was literally so much running and the countless times at void decks where I think he is well trained enough for me to take him off the leash, and suddenly boom there he goes running away from me and I had to run after him like from Bedok CC all the way to TJC before I actually can finally corner him and carry him back home. Such memories really stay with you and though he died really young, like 4 or 5 years old, I really remember him and forever he will be part of my life.

Dogs can really be special in your life and the best thing is that besides taking care of them which at times when you think about it, it really isn't that much. The walks that don't take up a lot of time, feeding and stuff but the amount that you get back is really so much more then you can give. Its really the unconditional love that comes from them to you. They really don't care if you are rich, poor or whatever. All they want is to have you around and that really is all that they ask for. Actually now that I think about it, it sometimes just reflects what God wants from us as well. The relationship that is some what similar to what we should have. But personally at times, I really find it so hard. Especially when facing really difficult times, its not so much of the mental state or the spiritual side that makes it hard. But for me I realized that I need something that I can physically touch or physically be with to help me through it. I think that's why God never meant for us to be alone. Every stage of my life, I really thank God for the people he placed around me. But most of all I guess the people that I always take for granted will be my family where no matter rain or shine they will definitely be there for me.

Anywho, I think I am really starting to get tired and so sorry for such a long time without posting stuff and tonight's post does seem abit incomplete but I guess lately I been having a writer's block where actually I have so many things I want to blog about but just can't seem to put it in words. Anyway will try to update soon with something more. Till next time peace out

End of scrubs season 8

2009-05-18T16:11:00.003+08:00

Whoooo!!! I just finished watch the latest season of scrubs and I really really love the show. Find that that the show is really my favourite show of all time. I guess why I really like this show is that while it is funny and really interesting and nice to watch, at times, the characters in the show and the situations that they go through is really real. Espicially on the themes that the show likes to go around about, relationships, the future and really every aspect that you will face in life.

Lately after coming to a sudden realization of certain thing in my life, I actually started to feel emo and really quite depressed. It really is so sad, that at this point of time when I start thinking about how are the next 5 years of my life going to be like, the sad realization is that there is such a high chance that I will be most likely meeting the same friends (not that I am complaining here ok?) at the same places, doing the same things and having quite a similar conversation. Drawing a comparision to the show, over the last 8 years, no doubt the characters have evolved becoming soo different at the end of it, from where they started at. Medical interns to residents to chief of a certain department and how in my life, starting out as a wide eyed child to a whiny and complacent "invincible" teen to now in my 20s where life is just starting out. Work, family and the whole works, its just daunting thinking about it.

Sometimes I think I am really kinda weird. One thing that I really wish about my life was that it was like a show, because whenever I want, I would like to at times just go back to the beginning. That is not saying that I wish I could change something in my past or that I want more but sometimes, I wish I can just go back and experiance what it was like when I was going through that paticular incident. Doesn't really have to be a good experiance or a terrible one but I always know that whatever God has placed us through is ultimately what makes us who we are today. Yesterday alone was the day where I really wish that I could do this in my life. Through out the day, it was really hectic, playing for service then after that had to do all the recordings done, after recordings was the 30th anniversary drama run through and then finally my day was over around 6. Then after that I went for a really fruitful and satisfying talk with Sarah and Gwenda about the past, present and future.

I think I really learn or rather reflect alot about my own life whenever I watch scrubs, I really can feel what the main character goes through espicially when I watch each stage of where he was, from starting out as a intern, to a resident, to co-chief resident and finally to in the end leaving the hospital, I guess I can really relate to it espicially in my role in church espicially in the youth ministry. I know that I don't really talk about so what do I want to do after this period, and generally though I don't voice it out much, it is 1 thing on my mind. Like now my age is 22, been in youth ministry as a member and leader for coming to close to 9 years and actually for the past year I started asking, how much longer do I actually see myself in this, youth ministry, the same group of people being like minded, even to the extend of, will I ever decide to uproot myself and find somewhere else.

Haha to those that watch scrubs, I think I love the show so much is because I can relate so much to the character in all the situations that he is being placed in. The emotions that he feels, the thoughts and at times weird stuff that runs through my head (yes it does happen) and although I do not really openly show the emotion that he shows, or the way he expresses himself, the thoughts and feelings that go through his inner monologue is really similar to what I think and feel. Haha actually at times even I have an inner monologue that goes through my head but more about the people around me how situations are instead of actually narrating it all. But coming back to the point, watching each season really brings me back to all the things that I have gone through in SNP till now. From when I was a member, doing all the silly stuff like going around and asking "WHO CALLED ME CUTE LITTLE BOY" to when I first became an intern, where I started feeling, I am so ready for it I can do anything to I don't think I can actually do so much to the end where just becoming a leader where I started to ask myself am I really ready to lead. To a leader where responsibilities at times felt like a burden, seeing members not moving in the direction that I wish they would. Juggling studies and ministry. Events and members and the whole thing. To now where I am out of SNP in desire still moving forwards.

Basically I think the last part of scrubs really sums up how I actually feel in the entirety of it, when I felt I was about to leave SNP itself, though still around. And should I decide to move forward in life:

"I guess it's because we all want to believe that what we do is very important, that people hang on our every word, that they care what we think. The truth is, you should consider yourself lucky if you even occasionally get to make someone - anyone - feel a little better. After that, it's all about the people that you've let into your life. and as my mind drifted to faces that I've seen in here before, I was taken to memories of family, of co-workers, of lost loves, even of those who have left us. And as I rounded that corner, they all came at me like a wave of shared experience."

For a more visual aspect can watch this video. Haha why didn't I just do this earlier.

Like I said, I think I can really relate to the main character because everytime I think I am leaving some place for good or for an extended period of time, I just sometimes imagine this exact scene (thought the exact people) happening to me. And sometimes it just doesnt make me want to move even if God would send me there. Whether I would respond in 1 of look towards the future, and just go confidently, or will I always just hold onto the past, just like I am doing now. To the people, and places where I feel comfortable and safe. Where I know how it is going to be like. But the ending comment of this sequence does give me some comfort. Which that even though it felt warm and safe, I know that it has to end sometime. It's never good to live in the past too long. But the future is still there and with God guiding, I know that it will always turn out what is best for me.

To end off, I go back to the point where I wish my life was like a show. Something can be relived, and everytime it ends, if you want it to start again, you can just replay it from where you want. Each individual event, each encounter that I have had with the countless of people around me, to the feelings that I felt all my life. But I guess this is where I always want to live in the past, live with what to me was warm and safe. To where I know it will never end, never looking forward to change. But I guess this is something that is impossible and can never happen and the only thing I can do is to look forwards, towards the future, where who knows what can happen, the uncertertainty. And just thank God for all the people, places, experiances, situations that has happened, that allows me to take that future and really work towards it.

Hehe sorry this post is soo long but I just had this feeling to get it out, that it is really time to share more about myself and that it really will be an interesting read and something for you guys to think about as well as to know me better.

Well till next time, peace out.

Cohesion day???

2009-04-28T21:47:00.004+08:00

Feeling super full man today. Today is my brance, WPS cohesion day! Hehe went to kushinbo to eat lunch man. Guess some of you are wondering, huh branch what? cohesion day?? what on earth is that so let me start from the end of my last post.

Well I finally got my OOC!!! Haha I think many of you know that but after that I basically hung around OETI (Ordenence engineering training institue), my Ayer Rajah camp for roughly 2 weeks as an AS. An AS is like an Auxillary Staff, which means sit around waiting for the phone to ring, being thrown around as extra help where ever someone needs it like to logistics branch or for me thrown to IT dept cause of my background to help the warrent there to dunno do what powerpoint slides and stuff like that. So it was quite enjoyable knowing that my future would lie far far far away from repairing a tank for the next 2 years. Seriously I thank God about how he has brought me through army so far, and even now as where he has placed me. But to carry on it was the slackest 2 weeks in my whole life. Typical day as an AS in OETI:

Report at 7.15AM to account for strength.

Go back to office sit around and talk or read book or at times, try to sleep without getting caught.

At 8.30, go down to canteen for breakfast :D

Sit around and talk to roughly 9.30 or sometimes 10

Go back to office resume activity that was done before breakfast and wait for lunch at 11.30

Lunch till roughly 1plus or longest was 2

Sit around till 3.30

3.30 go for afternoon break till about 4 or 4.15

it around and wait to hear the magic words, FALL OUT around 5 or 5.15 latest 5.30.

Its like ultra slack man but also kinda fun seeing new people who OOC and why they OOC, or seeing a different side of our officers joking around with us. Like my pot bellied warrent officer who likes to boast about being a top notch performer in physical training in his youth and always commenting "You young people should blame your parents for treating you till now every problem also have." Hehe I think he doesnt know that most of these ailments are only severe during NS and nothing more, but sadly for me not true cause everytime I have an aching eye or sneezing fits, its really not fun and scary at the same time. So those 2 weeks kinda just flew by for me. Then suddenly 1 Thursday afternoon sitting around in office chatting and laughing, cause OC wasnt around that day I recieved a phonecall. The person just said, Hi my name is so and so and I am from CPC. Can I come down and talk to you for a while.

My blood literally froze and i was kinda stunned. Because its like CPC controlls where every single SAF personnal is being posted and for those who know what happened before I OOC, it was literally a very scary moment. Was I in trouble, why ask only for me and no one else? SIAO LIAO! But nonetheless, I just said erm... ok what time and it was going to be 5 minutes time at my camp main building at the lobby. Shall cut a super long story short, and basically he is from CPC WPS branch in charge of promotion for warrent and specialist so basically I'll be working with alot of data.

My past coming to 2 weeks have really been fun. The people at the branch are really friendly, well at least to me and at times not really to each other haha quite a fair bit of bickering and stuff going on in a branch that only has a maximum of 10 people. The 2 DXOs are really very nice, and so far I guess cause I am the new guy, even my warrents are really nice to me, although I have heard stories about other things. So today, we had our branch cohesion day where we went kushinbo for lunch and after that walked to SMU settlers where surprisingly I had a really good time. Really thank God for where he has led me to and where he has placed me so far in army and really for all that has happened the way He has taken care of me.

Today also had 2 really funny things happened to me. During lunch one of the NSF who has already ORDed came back to kinda see what was going on and to catch up with people and the officers (according to my Upper who is the person who is teaching me the ropes of my position here before he ORDs, he is my officers favourite NSF). And he was kinda like asking me, so what did you do before you enlisted. One of the other people working with me was like OH! he is like a super staunch christian while I was left with my mouth open cause I haven't even a chance to reply. Then my DXO was like aiyah let him talk lah. The whole scene was really funny but I guess cause when they asked my views on certian things, I guess that was how he viewed me and yeah it was kinda a funny scene to be in.

The second was after we left settlers I forgot my cap (as usual but we didn't walk that far, was like 10 steps away!) and went back to get it. Then one of the guys working in settlers was clearing our table when I walked back then he suddenly called me and said, eh you were from YFC right? Then all I could say was erm... yeah.., then he continued PARTS ministry? then i said yep. Then suddenly he asked, your name is Daryl right? haha I was left quite stunned cause I haven been involved in SYFC for quite sometime, my last being 50th anniversary and I did not know that my name had spread that far. So I just casually like asked, Oh so what ministry were you from? So he said West then went over to Poly ministry. Then asked him how he knew my name and his reply was, Oh your name is quite famous around. It's really like thanks ah.... famous for what??? Hope its something good :X:X:X

Anyway I am really enjoying myself at where I am now. Really hopes it continues for me and that whatever God has prepared for me, that I really have the faith to lean on Him, courage to face it with Him and the diligence to let Him lead me through it. So till next time, peace out.

Feeling worried

2009-03-31T00:11:00.003+08:00

Sigh, I seriously can't sleep and I guess its because tomorrow is my medical appointment with the specialist for my nose (sinus as usual) and ezyma. You know its kind of weird that I am actually worried because I actually have had these ailments for quite some time and only know when they actually work in my favour am I really thinking about it.

For those who have no idea what is going on let me give you a brief summary. I have finished BMT, posted as an armour technician (fancy word for mechanic) then because of the environment (dusty and dirty) I have my nose acting up almost everyday and well, lets just say it really is torturous. But then again my mum did point out me having a bad attitude towards the place doesn't help my disposition much becuase whether I stay on there or not is not entirely up to me. I can propose what I wish to do, but it always comes back to the superiors to decide if that is the choice for me or not.

I really hate worrying because it really eats at me day and night. And because I can get really focused on that objective that I really loose sight of alot of things that are right before. The past week has really been bad, and everything seems to be going wrong since I came, well at least from my miserable perspective. Was late on my second day (fall in timing was 7.30 I reported at 8.45) thank God my Sgt Maj was understanding that I was not feeling really well (actually is just cause I went to bed really late cause of the coldplay concert) allowed me to report sick and the very nice reservice MO gave me an MC for the day. Then next few days just kinda got worse and worse where my those people that I actually started to talk to because it entirely is a new group for me just started OOCing and kind left me there and it really isn't a nice feeling. And then today, I thought I dropped my phone as I got into the cab. Ran around my block for like 10 mins. Wasted my own money and was ALMOST late again. And finally everytime I travel, it just seems that every single red light is out to stop me.

Finally comes to this time, 1 night before I finally know what is going to happen to me and it only is at this time that I really sit down and reflect on the past week. I guess the week is pretty much crappy only because I am crappy. Take for example, don't you realise that when you are in a rush, everything that can go wrong will go wrong? Can't get the transport, bus comes late or had to wait a super long time. Or even worse, can't get a cab! Then once you get on you realise WAH LAU THE DRIVER REALLY CMI LAH!!! DRIVE SO SLOW!!! then every traffic light is red and stops you. If going across singapore suddenly the road seems sooo congested, big vehicles are everywhere getting in the way. Or there is a jam! Then you finally reach your destination and you feel flustered aggitated and it kind of sets the tone for the whole day. For me I guess its exactly the same thing. Just that in a bigger propotion. I am not sure now but I guess I wanted to be sick to not go to camp and to get my different excuses and to finally OOC. But that attitude in the end just hurt myself the most, cause if in the event I don't get what I want, I am going to feel worse and the course is going to be 3 months, and whether I like it or want to or not, I will have to go through it. And those around me cause I will start to moan and groan and just be bad company all around.

It was under this thoughts that finally led me to Philippians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

I have always shared about my life, how I hated things like my sec school but as I look back, it really was fun and made me who I am and countless other examples. So at this juncture, why do I feel worried again? Don't I trust that God has a plan for me and that whatever He has planned for me ultimately is for my growth and never to destroy me. Worrying really eats at people and it really isn't a good thing to have in our lives. Already God has commanded us "Do not be anxious about anything." This really is an encouragement for me to say Yeah God is in control, no use for me thinking about what is going to happen, the conclusions because God already knows that. And if God knows that and he has a plan for me, why do I even want to think about it for? Its like trying to think and change a conclusion that has already happened.

I guess this blog post is really for myself to reassure myself that God is there and that whatever happens, be it I get to OOC or I have to stay on in this course, I should keep a positive outlook that God is in control. And that whatever happens is through God. So do pray for me that I will remember this lesson, and that whatever happens, I will not be too affected by it. Till next time peace out.

PS: If I stay in this course I do have guard duty on 11th of April (Mimby DAY AHHH). Actually I am on standby so whatever happens will happen. Hope my friends wun say dun wan to come because of my uncertainty on whether I am there.

COLDPLAYYYYYYY

2009-03-25T23:19:00.004+08:00

Hey guys updating once again. Gonna start on a super exciting topic for me first. THE COLDPLAY CONCERT WAS TOTALLY WORTH EVERY CENT OF $191!! The concert was really off the hook man, totally was jumping singing and really just enjoying the whole concert. I think coldplay is really one of those bands that don't just focus on the music they play but the whole visual aspect of the concert added sooo much to the atmosphere. Lazers and projections onto screens and balls. And of course, the energy of the band was really high that it actually caused almost the whole crowd to stand on their feet and moving with the music and cheering for the whole concert.

I think overall, the concert was really one of the best that I have seen in a long time, and I really have no regrets taking time to watch them in Singapore and really, their music is really nice and so much better live. It is so good that now when I actually listen to the MP3s on my com, I don't really feel that kick that you get watching live man. A word of advice for all music fans, the next time coldplay actually makes a trip to Singapore, make sure you catch them. I assure you that you will not be dissapointed.

Well moving onto the more mundane stuff in life. Well I POC liao as I said in my previous post and I got my posting. My posting is auto tech A veh. For those who have no idea what that is, it is actually a tank mechanic. Honestly I don't know why from the second I got this posting, my heart was really not at easy. I honestly don't think its because of the distance of the camp, Ayer Rajah which is actually nearer to my home compared to Ngee Ann Poly. or neither is it the fact that I may get to stay in after my course (although after checking with alot of my commanders and seniors, that fact is not entirely true because I actually stay out most of it unless there is a high key exercise and I actually attach to a unit and not a base). This feeling has really been pleaguing me for quite some time time. It is that feeling of nervousness and dread which I seriously don't understand why I feel that way because it has quite a number of things that I actually like.

1) Actually doing real work, as in you can see the results not like as a clerk where you really cannot justify your presence at all honestly.

2) I actually get to work with vehicles that I will never get to touch or even lay eyes on for the rest of my life outside NS. I mean tanks, WOW. It is kinda like a dream come true for me, being able to touch this things, drive them and actually find out totally how it works.

3) At the end of my NS time, I actually can say that my NS has been something that is really meaningful, learning this skill and stuff as a technician.

However 3 days into being in camp, my nose and skin has really been acting up. I even feel a hint of my iritis is even starting to flare up abit. My eye does feel numb and piercing pain at times, but I pray it really isn't going to be that because if it is, I am in for a really rough patch of 6 mths. After taking some time to consider my physical state as well as talking to my parents, we came to a decision that I should try to request for an OOC (Out Of Course) from being a mechanic and most probably be reassigned to another vocation. I really am not trying to chao keng cause I think if I am totally fit, I would love to try this vocation and carry on. But for the sake of my well-being I think that this is the best course of action for me to take.

And this comes to the second roadblock. So far it has been like 3 days in camp, and already the current MO who is in my camp for reservice has given 26 people OOC. And higher ups have already called him up demanding explainations and stuff for his actions. And now the kicker, for being technicians, they have assigned alot of PES C (Meaning physically not well due to conditions) to be technicians. And there are problems like back problems, knee problems, leg problems, and in my case, sensitive to dirt and most probably grease and oil. So the MO was like come on, they all have valid excuses why are they even here in the first place. But the bottom line is this, I am going for my specialist consultation on tuesday, and by then, the MO maybe really really reluctant to acceede to my request. So I do feel abit scared because I guess it really is my whole wellbeing that is being put in jeopardy if they insist that I continue with my current vocation.

So please do pray for me, that whatever happens that God will continue to look over my wellbeing. I really don't know how it will go but I have the support of my course mates whom we have been talking together for the past 3 days. And also afew of my superiors do feel that I do have a valid concern and now it just rest in the hands of 1 medical officer who will decide my fate. So pray that I would be able to be out of this vocation and that I will be reassigned to something else that would have a less impact on me. Well till next time, peace out :D

2 1/2 more weeks to POC!!!

2009-02-21T14:28:00.004+08:00

YAY GOING TO POC LOH!!!! Actually, I feel like my BMT has really been very fast. And before I know it I don't have to go back to Tekong (I really hope so, food lousy, boring place really but the atmosphere of the place can be very relaxing. Nice place for a resort actually.) Well for those who do not yet know, I have applied to audition for MDC (Music & Drama Company). It was really not an easy decision for me because of quite a few factors.

1) Depending on how it is run because I totally have no idea, it is quite a risk due to me actually having less time out compared to if I was a clerk which is a confirmed 8-6 work timing (Most probably actually)

2) Actually this year, I have been thinking alot and I was thinking about the position that God has actually placed me this year. Being in Desire where it takes me kinda out of my element and comfort zone. Being with people that are younger then me and really be focused on building people up through me. And also Desire being an older CG, doesnt really revolve around events and stuff like that so that has really stripped me of what I think my strengths are. And maybe I thought I can really grow to be a better leader a better servant if maybe I learned even more about myself through God in this situation that He has placed me in.

So basically, after my audtion if I get in, then yay, if not, well its alright, I am sure that God has something good planned for me to learn and to grow in Him through this year. Anyway this coming week, I really doubt I will be able to call anyone after Monday cause it will be my long awaited (and slightly dreaded) field camp. Honestly, I dunno what to expect and the element of not knowing is seriously killing me more then anything else. I think now I have really grown into someone who hates the unknown. I feel so much better knowing what is going to come, be it in just like army, which is why in my whole platoon, I am one of the few that actually goes and finds out what we are going to have, what kind of training and things like that, to even events that I am involved in, know what is going to come up and who is suppose to do it and things like that.

Well so much for what is to come, do continue to pray for me

1) Health: Starting to fall sick, having a sore throat, cough and quite a bad headache. Just pray that as I go through this week with field camp that I would not let it affect me too much and that I will go through it well.

2) My field camp: Well sleeping in the jungle, infested with snakes insects and wild boars, need I say more

3) My MDC audition: Well basically that God reveals what he wants for me, whether to be involved in something I enjoy or wanting me to learn something new in my life

Well now to give you guys some recap on what has happened to me. Army life, well to me has been quite fun. Really surprised that I actually have been able to adjust well. But I really gotta give a big thank you for all those that has been my support through out my "adjustment" period (which actually is my 2 wks confinement period) and thus far. Seriously being away from civilization and not having my freedom, doing what I want and things like that is really quite hard for me. And to all those that I been calling, thank you for actually just talking to me because it has really helped me cope with being away and being in camp and everything. I honestly think that if you guys havent been so understanding and just talking to me, I think I would not be able to say I am actually enjoying army and most probably I would not have the current mindset that I do have now. Anyway the past 4 weeks of army has been not too bad. Alot of running, shot my rifle, missed marksmen by 1 target. Sigh sad man. and officially, I have lost close to 10kg in 1 week. Guess having crappy cookhouse food izznt that bad.

Hehe and I promised someone that I would blog about this incident I had over the phone and see if you can find out who this person is on your own. This person shall just be X :P

Daryl: So what are you going to teach?
X: humility
Daryl: Wah humility. You know you are now talking to a person who has the most humility
X: Yeah right
Daryl: Yeah the most humble, the smartest, the most good looking person on earth
X: HA, by saying that where got humble, you are totally not humble lor.
Daryl: Yes I am see I am humble what
X: No (Goes on to attack my humility)
Daryl: okok fine, I am not humble but since you did not say anything about me being the smartest or the most good looking person on earth your silence means its true

haha, blur man this person really haizzzz. Was really a funny conversation that occured while I was in camp and it like totally made my whole week. I'll give you guys a hint of who this person is. It is someone who is getting more and more blur every week. I am sure with this info you guys will know who it is.

Ah well I guess actually blogging helped me sorta get over my fear feelings for field camp. So till the next time I blog, which I promise will be around when i POC (March 10 please note this date down) peace out :D

In the army for the next 2 weeks confinement :(

2009-01-28T02:06:00.003+08:00

I think I really am going crazy man. It is now 2.07AM 28th January. And yes I am going to enlist at 9.30 AM later. Well people have been asking me, so how are you feeling. Honestly, my feelings just keep changing about this matter. At times I honestly do look forward to it (yes I already did say I am going crazy), but I have gone through fear, like how is my life going to be like. Am I going to be able to adjust well to this rigid system. Sien-ness, like why on earth, after medical personal have said that I am so called "unfit" to go out of base do they actually want us to enlist at the end of it. I mean its weird, enlisting to be a clerk or something. I am sure actually if they get like full time people to do it, it would be more efficient and cheaper and free up more people to do other things.

But then again, rambling on and on about this doesn't change the fact that I am going to become a soldier and I am going to for my National Service. so this will be the last blog post for at least the next 7 weeks or so till I come out from my BMT. Just to show you what a crazy week I really had. Been to bed around 5 or 6 am almost every night. Watched shows, ate good food, drank good drinks (SAKE!) went karoke at 11pm at night till 4 am. Ate macs at 5am and sat around to 8am before going home. Flew kites, and basically had a blast. I guess I am really just trying to put NS out of my mind but it can't really stay out cause its so near and imminent. Even while typing this, I am seriously going through like an array of emotions, but I don't really feel that anticipation anymore cause of the things that I seriously enjoy doing, and the people I love hanging out with, its going to be harder to do this for a long time.

Anyway, instead of getting emo, I think I shall reflect more on the past week and talk about the so meaningful things that has happened. I shall start with the newest thing, went to Glozzlyn (sorry couldn't help myself Gloria :P) house for dinner and in attendence was : Amy, Ben, Romans, Ivy, Jean Shen, Jean Le, Daniel, Sherm, Gloria, Sara (Glozzlyn's fren), Gwenda, Kenneth and of course yours truly :D. And somehow I have no idea why the whole night they were making me do stuff by just saying, "But its your last day". Sounds like I am going to die or going overseas for good man. Sigh. But at the end, I was sorta forced to say something about each person in the house, be it good or bad that I have kept in my heart for a long time. Honestly, I think it was good to a certain extent but having to voice such intimate stuff espicially since I never told anyone (its something that I have held on to on my own for all this time) is not exactly the best thing to do? And further more, I think I express myself better when I am alone with that person or maybe even through other means, like writing a card. But I don't always do this kinda things because I think I really like to be sinciere about it, and that really needs time. So before anyone reads this, because I doubt you will till I am in Tekong, I announce that I still do keep things to myself. Guess I really am a very private person and will take alot of time for me to open up. But do take heart, I am slowly trying to do it and I think I have come quite a way from even a year ago where I don't think I am this open. But I do really appreiciate the gesture that you have done and I really hope that one day, I can be as open with you guys as you are with me. Or at least I think you are :P.

Moving on, I been in alot of serious conversations about the future recently. And no its not the where will I be working or where will I be studying or what will I be doing kind of future. But its something that I feel its so much more important then these things. Who will each one of us be with, when will we actually commit to another human being the rest of our lives together sort of future. And as we talked more and more about it, I realised that I actually put marriage very high on my priority list. Haha, I know its weird right. For someone like me who LOVES my freedom, being able to do what I want when I want (well at least before army) to want to get tied down with someone else. But I really do think it is part of our human nature or human instinct if you want that we find someone, with whom we can talk to, share our thoughts and dreams with, fears and every aspect of our life with. I think people who actually say that they don't need anybody is really lying. Because seriously, how can you get through life alone. In the end, you maybe able to accomplish it but it will be a sad, tragic life. On the show The Leap Years, there is a quote "It's hard to resist the temptation of loving someone for the sake of being with someone, so I think you are really brave to wait for the right one to come along. People don't want to be alone." And I really find this so true. Being through the past 22 years I guess even now as I go to army, I think that if I do have someone special on earth that I can share this experiance with, I really think it would be that much easier to deal with. And with the friends I have, I do know that I will come out of it better and hopefully stronger and that the next 7 weeks on Tekong is what God is preparing for me as I enter this "holding" phase before uni.

Well I am really quite tired now, haha almost 3am already leh! and I need to wake up early somemore. Continue to pray for me even as I go through my army term. I guess I am starting to really be hit by I am going to be gone for at least 7 weeks and if God wants me to go through certain things, even the next 2 years. I will see if I am able to blog in the middle of my army term on Tekong but I won't be online from now till the 14th of Febuary. Haha ironic right, confinement ends on Valentines Day. But I do believe that God already has a plan for me. And no matter how much I may want something, God knows when to give it to me if He does or if he doesn't He has His plan as well. But till I blog again or see you guys when I come out. Peace out. :D.

New skin

2008-11-08T00:19:00.002+08:00

Hey I finally changed my skin! looks alot more colorful and not so cluttered like the last one huh? Well back to update you guys on whats going on.

Now the time is roughly 12.20am on Saturday morning. In about 7 hours I hope I can wake up and go for a run. Yep I said a run, before the day. Well recently I really decided to eat properly (meaning not too much unless the occasion, still gotta cut me some slack) and to really lose weight. Seeing my NS is coming in like less then 3 months, now is a good time to really start getting into shape and to really lose weight.

I know I have said I want to do this many many times, but this time, I really hope I can persevere through the whole thing and really lose weight and be at a normal weight for once. But well enough about my weight and soon, poor chang xiang will have nothing to suan me with. Wahahaha, oh by the way, I promised him that between the end of his O levels till I go army, I am going to make his life the most memorable time of his whole entire life. So if you have any ideas, please feel free to come and give me some of them. hehehe

Well this is seriously a busy period for me that even just thinking of the next week I start feeling uncomfortable, stressed and anxious that I can't finish in time. To list them out this is what I have coming up:

1) Christmasing, I know I suppose to guide the sec 3 guys in leading games, but totally slipped my mind this time around and will do it next week really busy.

2) Polish up the music tracks so that the minus 1 can be read for Jean Shen to practice with during Christmasing

3) See out the Christmasing program

4) Plan out youthbeat lesson for the BB boys and members by last saturday of this month

5) Try to see if I can squeeze in a How To Lead Icebreakers for the sec 3 people so that they can lead

6) Apply permission to go overseas for mission trip if I can

7) Cynthia school emceeing on 20th Novemeber need to plan out the games

Well this are the confirmed stuff so far, AND I AM SERIOUSLY FEELING THE HEAT!!! whooo but really thank God that so far, this is maybe the busiest November I ever had but this time, I feel like its not as bad as previously where I really could not handle the pressure. This is really a big test where I have been to the 2 extremes previously, being unable to cope totally and leading to me seriously stressed out. And the other being like a robot where I totally ignore people's feelings and schedule that it gets even worse for them. So continue to pray for me even during this busy period where I continue to balance everything in my life and pray that God sustains me through it.

Seriously I have been having such a scary feeling recently. NS coming, which means 7 weeks in Tekong but that is the least of my worries. I really have this sense of dread and anxiety when I think of my deadlines. Sometimes I wonder if its a good thing or a bad thing to have this feelings which keeps me on my toes to be prepared for that particular deadline and to do it to the best of my abilities. But somehow, I always find myself very inadequete in fulfilling that area. I have this feeling where whatever I have done, prepared is really not enough to meet that mark and that people will sorta pick at that being my fault although I know it within myself that it is to the best of my abilities and that is really all I can give without compromising other areas as well. I have been in lessons and even taught a couple of lessons saying that we should commit everything to God. However, as much as I try I just don't feel at rest in my heart and mind that I just do that and leave it to God and whatever happens is His will but there is this thing in my mind, could I have done something different, could I have been more proactive in this, and on and on which causes me to really start to freak out afair bit.

I guess I really do get bothered with what people think about me, say about me which is why I have these thoughts. Recently during a bible study where the topic was on Andrew the brother of the Apostle Peter where we looked at him doing small things not bothering much about what people say or think but does it anyway because he knows it pleases God and at the point of time I was thinking where I do not view the small things as important. But as I continued to reflect on this point, I realised that I do not see such things as important only because people don't really bother about people who do these. I admit, I do enjoy doing the big things and when I accomplish it, I like that pat on the back and I know that is not the point of doing things.

My brain seems to work really strangely, when preparing, I think about my service to God and during I think about the work itself. But its only the after everything that happens that I start to think about myself. Questions like why didn't people have this reaction why didn't they do that to what I did. And even weirder is that I get this kinda thoughts when I am planning my schedule on seeing what needs but while doing them this thoughts don't really enter my head. Haha I think I must really be going slightly loco and pray that God continue to work in me as I continue to pray about this.

Well closing in 1am liao better sleep. Tomorrow is a long long day and hope I feel refreshed and ready

Back again

2008-10-05T23:36:00.003+08:00

Wow its really been a long time since I last blogged and really what an eventful life I have led since the last blog entry till now.

Well since the last time I blogged, there has been many many changes that happened in my life and in the way I want to lead my life.

First off, I am now heading my own company. I can tell you that this experiance is really enriching although its pretty much winding up now due to lack of response and well it really has let me have my first taste of working in the cor-porate world. Basically what is really obvious to me through this is that if you really want anything done right you really have got to do it yourself.

My experiance has really been enriching and don't think I will want to dwell too much in this area if not I would think I am writing another proposal on that. Basically what happened that caused me to decide to give it up and to pursue another area is that:
1) Turn up for my first talk was bad
2) I really did not like the product I was to sell. It was good but I really did not like the moral implications of it
3) My speaker did not turn up and well it just went downhill from there cause he was the person in this with me and the copyright for the software was with him. So him no showing just gave me some idea of how it would be like

But really I thank God for such a chance where I can really try out what it is like and although having your own company does seem nice. Flexi hours, not answerable to anyone on any decisions that is being made, and stuff like that. But it is also stressful at the same time cause unless you do something then it sets things in motion.

The second thing I have been doing is meeting people who actually want me to run camps, workshops for cor-porate events and most probably this is an area that I would love to explore being I have done some of it in S&P though different scale and different objective and also, I really enjoy doing it. So at this point of time, it looks like I would be aiming for a November or December launch of these stuff and after that in the new year (IF I DO NOT GO NS YET) it would really be in full swing and hopefully that I would have some rep after this.

Now onto myself. Through the experiances that God has given me, I realised that I am someone who really cannot take failure well. The reason I say this is because when I fail or do not perform to a standard that I would like to be, I have 2 reactions.
1) I totally give up on persuing that particular thing
2) I start to doubt that it is actually able to be acomplished by me and spirial into some sort of dark place

And it was through the leader's monthly bible study that it became aperent to me and also through the events that happen in my life I realise that at times I do not get things accomplished is due to the fact that I do not handle it well. But on seeing this big fault in myself, I shall continue to persevere. From Acts 1: 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

So I know that God is there to help me through this fault that I have and that He will give me the wisdom as to how to persevere against this that I have.

Well I think gonna stop here for the time being, hope I can actually keep up blogging cause it really allows me to reflect my life but I shan't promise anything yet. Till nxt time peace out.

My personality!

2008-05-26T00:52:00.002+08:00

Haha just took a personality test and I think this is really me. I took it quite a number of times over the years and well it has been pretty much the same so I will just paste a few of the more interesting bits of the report here. Oh by the way, I am a Extroverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving person.. kekekeke

ENFP

ENFPs are initiators of change who are keenly perceptive of possibilities, and who energize and stimulate through their contagious enthusiasm. They prefer the start-up phase of a project or relationship, and are tireless in the pursuit of new-found interests. ENFPs are able to anticipate the needs of others and to offer them needed help and appreciation. They bring zest, joy, liveliness, and fun to all aspects of their lives. They are at their best in situations that are fluid and changing, and that allow them to express their creativity and use their charisma.

Leisure

ENFPs often have a difficult time separating their work from their leisure. Because they like to have fun while they work and usually arrange their work lives to meet this need, the boundaries between their work and their leisure may not be as clear as they might be for some other types.

Because of their continual search for new things to experience, it is rare for ENFPs to become heavily involved in a single activity; their appetite for involvement is too great. Generally, ENFPs are on the lookout for new things and may come across what is "trendy" before others. They tend to participate early on in those new activities.

ENFPs like travel and reading because these activities open experiences of other times and places. Their reading often brings quiet and reflection time, as well as new material for their dreams. Their travels afford them opportunities to experience different people and cultures.

If you want to noe more go my facebook and read the full report :P

Major

2008-05-18T03:02:00.001+08:00

Internal Value defaultContent

Its not me, its you

2008-04-29T22:03:00.002+08:00

Recently I gone back to a long long nick again, (yes I know can be annoying when my nick is so long hehehe) but this is my nick after my nick recently "I find peace when I'm confused, I find hope when I'm let down, Not in me, In you". Some people may think that I have gone back to the soppy thing and like wah who is this you ah? So I guess I gonna clear that up first.

First off, let me introduce you guys to a super super nice song called "You" by "Switchfoot". It was sung during the movie "A Walk To Remember" which is a nice show as well and here are the lyrics:

There's always something
in the way
There's always something
getting through
but it's not me
it's You, it's You

sometimes ignorance
rings true
but hope is not in
what i know
it's not in me..me
it's in You, it's in You

it's all i know
it's all i know
it's all i know

i find peace when
i'm confused
i find hope when
i'm let down
not in me ... me
in You
it's in you

i hope to lose myself
for good
i hope to find it in the end
not in me ... me
in You
in You
in You

it's all i know
it's all i know
it's all i know

in You
in You
its in You
its in You

there's always something in the way
there's always something getting through
but it's not me
it's You
it's You
it's You

Ok I must admit the context of the song plus the movie makes the song seem like a guy who is singing to a girl in his life that has helped him alot but I view this song very differently cause for someone to be of such support to someone else has to be really something and I dun think any human on earth can be so strong.

To start this off, I have to say that recently I been going through a really difficult patch in life. Where my emotions my thoughts are not really not in the right places. I been feeling kinda moody, confused bout many things. And generally my good friends have all gone overseas or not as contactable as before and I started to feel really quite alone and quite scared over what is to come. I know I talk about my future alot but I guess that I have been really thinking and worrying alot over it. During my birthday it actually hit me, I am really 21 I am really getting old and in 9 years I actually will be 30 and there are so many things to consider, what school to go to, what course to take, what job. Do I or should I stay in Singapore where will I work. And in the future who am I gonna settle down with. It can get abit overwhelming.

On top of all these I been quite moody lately and I guess it makes it even harder for my friends that I talk to because if there was ever a clear example of burning bridges that have been built between people, I guess you could use me as the best example possible. Doing things, saying things that really I guess hurt people more then anything.

Going back to the song now, I have always refered the you in the song as to God that he really is there for me during such times. A good example of how God has been in my life is basically like this. If you light a match on a bright day where everything is shining all the street lamps the sun and anything that can shine is on, you can hardly see it. But a small match in a totally dark room, being the only source of light, its brightness shines so much more then in a bright area.

Basically I guess God really has let me go through so much hardship, pain in my life is to once again show me how great He really is and that I should really trust him to take care of me. Before this period I guess I really placed my heart in the wrong place in people that I talk to that has helped me through tough spots before. Yeah they have helped me once or twice but doesnt mean that they will always be able to or be around to help in the future. And in the future, they could even become another problem that you just have to handle in life.

As the song says, this is a period that I really start to aknowledge as God being someone that will help me through every aspect of my life. And this is really a timely time for me to think about God more instead of my future and that I should continue to trust in Him. Basically if this song is towards God, it describes what I am going through and my thoughts and feelings at the moment. Well till the nxt post peace out.

Update part 2

2008-04-09T01:19:00.003+08:00

Haha! see I really am continuing part 2.

Ok to continue on, I must admit that the past 2 months has kinda been very stressful emotionally for me. During Feb when I came back from Krabi it was after Chinese New Year and I was at my Godma's house during the second day and third day and had loads and loads of fun with my cousins and uncles and aunties playing cards, talking, watching TV and playing with Milo (my cousins terrier) and my Godpa who was diagnosed with cancer for the past I think 3 years still looked healthy during this period. However, when I got back, my mum told me that my Godpa took a turn for the worse and to be ready anytime for something to happen.

Since then, there was no news till suddenly on March 5 one day before my Dad's bday where we were planning to go out the next day that my mum received a call from my cousin that my Godpa was in critical condition in hospital. So we went down to the hospital and when I reached the ward, I was really shocked at what I saw.

My Godpa was literally reduced down to what seem to me as a living corpse that was still breathing abit. It was a really shocking sight for me and I suddenly started to feel the feeling of dread that fell over me as we stood around waiting for him to either improve (which the chances were like 0.001%) or to take his last breath. As I stared at him on the hospital bed, my thoughts started to go way back when I was like 6 years old where I would go to his house ever week for dinner, the fun times we had together overseas, by the beach, during CNY when he would bring me to Malaysia just to play fireworks and the dinners that he brought his family and mine to places that I liked to eat what I enjoyed. I couldn't help it but being just at the hospital I started to break down in tears. It really was a difficult sight and even harder to reconcile that the person dying was actually my Godpa.

Finally on my Dad's bday, he passed away so all plans got shelved as we went down to the funeral and during then I guess I chose to be as detatched as possible to prevent myself from showing any emotions to people. Even on the day of his cremation, I chose to still be down in church to play bass and then to rush down to Mandai to attend it and through the full 3 days plus before that, I acted as if nothing was wrong and it was really hard. And finally at the crematorium, I cried again as the last of his physical being was being burned. I guess it finally struck me that I would never see him or hear him again. And makes it even harder when I was closer to him then my other relatives.

Sometime after the cremation I was talking to my mum and I said this, sometimes I seriously wish that what we believe in, in Christ and in the life after death, how much I wish that we would be wrong. Because if we were wrong, all the people that we hold dear in our lives that are not saved through Christ, after death there is still this chance that we still can see each other and be with each other. However as much as I wish this to be false, I am unable to bring myself to say yeah, what I believe in, the very foundation of what my life is built on, Christ and God is false because I know that what the bible says of life after death is real and that there will be a seperation from those that God has saved from those that he did not and it pains me so much that God has already predestined His own people to be saved.It really is very difficult to accept a persons demise espicially knowing that he does not have God in his life.

I now pray that the rest of his family will know the goodness that God has for them after death and the personal relationship through which they can find relief and support from through God.

Ok so this is the second part of my blogging series. I shall post up 2 more, 1 about my bday which I realised that there were no photos not that it bothered it much haha and 1 more finally about what I am feeling and my thoughts.

1 month since my last post I think

2008-04-08T00:52:00.002+08:00

Hey, been roughly a month ago since I tried to blog unsuccessfully cause I was using opera and had loads and loads of trouble doing it and kinda just gave it up for a while and finally am back with an update.

Ok my last post I think was in January and will update everyone about what has been going on since then.

Beginning with some fun stuff. In feb I went down to Krabi Thailand and seriously, it is such a beautiful place and so fun that I really think I wanna go back there for another trip. I did some really cool stuff like rock climbing and snorkling. And seriously I never thought that such a beautiful place existed so near to Singapore. I won't be posting any photos and if you want to see any can just msn me then I can show you cause at the moment, I abit lazy to take my external hard drive from my bag. Hehe, but just imagine, clear blue seas being overlooked by towering cliffs and so many different islands all around having similar characteristics that it really is such an amazing sigh. And the best part of it is that in order to reach anywhere, you actually have to travel by boat which adds so much more fun. If you wanna noe more about the trip can ask me cause if I am just gonna blog about the whole experiance its gonna take really long.

Anyway, I really appreciated the trip itself because it really gave me an opportunity to step back from the hustle and bustle of Singapore life and really relax and spend time with my thoughts and really just spend time with God. Through the period on the island with just Jean Shen, good travel company, hehe doesnt really interrupt and gives more then enough space to you, I guess I really reflected on my life as a whole. Through poly and really I think that poly was one of the low points of my life being that:

1) I kinda gave up on my studies very early. At the end of my first year, I already knew that I made a mistake on what I was studying and I just did as little as possible to scrape through, which was not alot espicially when in business studies you can actually talk your way to a grade during presentations which I was famed in my cohort for doing. Something not very proud of, and not even studying before exams.

2) I did not make any effort to get to know my friends that I had more then I did. I guess firstly because of the distance factor, they always liked to hang out at places like CCK and Toa Payoh and Woodlands which to me was like huh??? If I join you guys I am gonna go home like 11 plus? and then my whole day would be spent travelling which I totally hated. But now looking back, having more or better friends within school might have helped me through my poly and maybe spurred me on to study at least to do better then I did.

3) I started to become more reserve in things that I do. Basically, pride is one of my biggest downfalls and I dunno if my ability to do work at the last minute and still produce what people say is acceptable work at the end a good thing or a bad thing. Because I guess that I fall back on it way too often. Leaving things to do at a later time because I already know that I can do it.

As I shared during my bday celebration at Kbox, I shall sorta repeat what I said that night for those that weren't there or I was slurring and talking abit weirdly because it was abit emotional for me though I did not show much of it.

Basically, I seriously thank God for close friends that he has given me and the strong bonds that I have built with them through the years that in my lowest times of my life that they were still around for me as support and able to pull me back up from those periods as well as share as much joy and laughter that we have shared for so many years since I knew them. So I shall also use this chance to say a very big thank you to all of you that have seen me through my ups and downs in my life all the way till now.

Well this is part 1 of my post because I think if I continue to something now it will be abit weird so don't worry while I publish this post I am already typing the second post k? It will be up before I sleep tonight so sit tight :D.

Yo

2008-01-23T00:24:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone what's up! I know I really been real slow in blogging. But then again ITS MY BLOG SO I DECIDE!!! haha joke aside, I guess that 1 of the main reasons I don't blog that much is because there are so many things that happen around me so many thoughts that I get that I kinda get abit lazy to write so much. Hehe if you guys have been reading my blog, you should know that I tend to write alot espicially on my thoughts and just did not feel up to it till now.

First an update, December is over and I am no longer with SYFC. I know at one point in time I thought I could be with them all the way I got enlisted with the army but things change and personally I feel I can do more with people if I could just be a volunteer there, being able to split my time more, such as planning for lessons and sessions for my CG in the afternoon, spend time with them and use my time more fruitfully. I guess this is just my own thinking but I found out it is really hard to juggle both church work and parellel church together. You really have to decide which you want to focus on and go for it cause doing it together just means that in the end you get tired and are unable to do your best for God at either side.

Through December I handled this pressure first hand. Being in charge of logistics as well as the song dedication portion fro FM 20.12 which was a SYFC event and having to teach dance to people from S&P while all the dance people went to Thailand. Just before the mission trip team went off, I was really thinking, why couldn't my mum just let me go for this trip. Because firstly, I would not have the problem of juggling both sides, secondly I would not have to learn the whole dance and teach it being my first time, and thirdly I really wanted to go on mission trip again. But in the end, I really did learn alot from staying in Singapore.

The last year when the mission trip team left leaving me here in Singapore again, I really couldn't handle the pressure of ensuring that everything would be ready for our December CGEO by the time they came back. Because time is really short, it become increasingly difficult and I guess I really cracked under the pressure which led to one of the darkest periods of my life for the next 6 months. But this time, I relied more on God and more help from other people such as Jean Shen and Gwenda and I really felt alot better this time round. Plus having to teach the dance, it really taught me perseverence cause there were so many times I was really close to say, you guys really can't dance so lets not push it we will take you out of the dance and problem solved. But instead I told myself, I cannot use that as an excuse to stop but instead I should try my best and up till the lest minute if they are really unable to learn the dance even after everything then I could say I tried my best but still unable to produce. And truly God showed me that it was really possible because everyone managed to at least perform the dance well.

I truly thank God for the opportunities that lead up to teaching me something more in my life, and also for this event that we managed to share the gospel to our friends and they truly accepted Him and have joined S&P since.

Moving onto this year, Christmas has been quieter nowadays. I guess its because I am getting older and the noisy sorta thing doesn't appeal to me that much anymore. Man I even spent Christmas eve to Christmas just playing bridge at kenneth's house with Romans Dandan and Charis! Through this year I did have me reservations about having an all guys and all girls cg. Frankly I wasn't sure how I could make a difference with having an all guys CG but thanks to Ranald and Peng Siang, we really are starting to be able to use an all guys cell group to out advantage through the activities we do and what we want to teach them.

The first cell group of the year went really fun. Dressing up and making it like a special ops forces briefing. It really was fun and the session I think I did was made so much easier to relate to the guys because it is an all guys cell group. I really relish the opportunities to do more with the CG in the time that God has given me till my enlistment to ensure that whatever I have done with the guys at least would have taught them something.

Finally onto some stuff that it is my heart and not so much on what was going on. The other day me and Jean Shen went out for a movie and had dinner. It was really fun and I guess it is one of the few times where I can really talk, share and discuss stuff that happened in both our lives. We touched on the topic of love briefly and one question that I asked him was how could you distinguish between a crush or infactuation and true love. His answer was that infactuation is when you cease to fuction because everything you think about is that person while love enables you to still function properly and having a think about what is the best for the person.

My parents, cousins and relatives are really sorta wanting me to get a girlfriend. My parents because they believe it is one of the ways they can get me to lose weight and to learn responsibilities. My cousins cause they find the idea intriguin since they know me since I was a baby. And my relatives, well because they want to disturb me even more then they do the few occasions that I see them.

Well for me, as I told some people I really don't think it is the right time for me to get attached because I don't think I am ready, and also because of NS spending at least 2 years in limbo not knowing what will happen in that period. I guess this can put to bed many things that some people might think whether I have a girlfriend at the moment or whether I plan to ask someone. Guess when the time comes I would know the best but I think the best defination of Love is what Romans taught during 1 of the lessons he gave. Loving someone is not a feeling you have for that person but instead the knowledge of doing what you think is best for the person. And right now this is what I think is best for the person, just being friends and nothing more.

Love is really a long subject to talk about and I really hope that this post have been encouraging to you guys after you read it. Continue to pray for me even as I have quite a stressful period coming, being in charge of the March CGEO event and even bigger, planning for the church camp on top of my usual things to do as a CG leader. Pray I continue to have the tenacity to go at what I do with all
my abilities and I pray that even these open doors to which I can see God continually
working in my life. Well till next time guys peace out

1 month once??

2007-11-26T14:56:00.000+08:00

Hehe sorry ah, but I will try to update more often, should get back into that mode. Being more Sanguine, my Mael side doesn't really come out and even worse I am a Sang/Phlem so ahhhh I may not feel bothered by it.But shall continue to work on it.

K an update on what has been happening in my life so far. In October, CTI (Carpenters Tools International) came down to Singapore to do a mission trip. Well me being now more involved in SYFC, had the pleasure and pressure of assisting them in their performences. The CTI is slightly different from most mission trip teams that we usually see or hear about. Most that we know is probably people going over to a less fortunate country to give some humanitarian aid and then share the love of God through more of these means. But CTI came to Singapore and used a common thing that everyone enjoys to share the gospel, music.

And through their trip here really is an experiance for me. Firstly I don't really interact that much with americans, well besides on WoW where i didn't really have a choice. But i think their perception is so much different from ourselves. Firstly I have to say that their view of life and people is much different. I think because in Singapore, we sorta lead very sheltered lives that we dun really see other people in pain or in trouble. But the sense of emphaty is very strong with them and they really do each performences it is with a strong desire to share the gospel to lost souls.

There usually is alot of people saying we must see the urgency of sharing the gospel. I think that this urgency of sharing can only come with firstly feeling for the people we are sharing to. Without this, it is very hard to be urgent because we do not see a reason for being urgent. So i pray for myself that God will give me this feeling for other people and that through this i will really be able to change areas of my life that i find hard to change for the sake of the gospel, making myself a more effective tool for His purpose.

K only have time for this at the moment will update more tomorrow. Till then peace out

GONE

2007-10-22T21:28:00.000+08:00

K I was on my way home from EH when I heard this song and I remembered about the talk about the urgency to share God's word to our friends and loved ones. So here are the lyrics to this song. If u want the song, u can msn me for it. It is Gone by Switchfoot so here is the lyrics

She told him she'd rather fix her makeup
Than try to fix what's going on
But the problem keeps on calling
Even with the cellphone gone
She told him that she believes in living
Bigger than she's living now
But her world keeps spinning backwards
And upsidedown
Don't say so long, and throw yourself wrong
Don't spend today away
Cuz today will soon be

Gone, like yesterday is gone,
Like history is
Gone, just trying to prove me wrong
And pretend like you're immortal

She said he said live like no tomorrow
Every day we borrow
Brings us one step closer to the edge (infinity)
Where's your treasure, where's your hope
If you get the world and lose your soul
She pretends like she pretends like she's immortal
Don't say so long
You're not that far gone
This could be your big chance to makeup
Today will soon be

Gone, like yeterday is gone,
Like history is gone,
The world keeps spinning on,
Your going going gone,
Like summer break is gone,
Like saturday is gone
Just try to prove me wrong
You pretend like your immortal your immortal

We are not infinite
We are not permanent
Nothing is immediate
We're so confident
In our accomplishments
Look at our decadence

Gone, like Frank Sinatra
Like Elvis and his mom
Like AL Pacino's cash nothing lasts in this life
My highschool dreams are gone
My childhood sweets are gone
Life is a day that doesn't last for long

Life is more than money
Time was never money
Time was never cash,
Life is still more than girls
Life is more than hundred dollar bills
And roto-tom fills
Life's more than fame and rock and roll and thrills
All the riches of the kings
End up in wills we got information in the information age
But do we know what life is
Outside of our convenient Lexus cages

She said he said live like no tomorrow
Every moment that we borrow
Brings us closer to the God who's not short of cash
Hey Bono i'm glad you asked
Life is still worth living, life is still worth living

Well now I am working in SYFC and really the work can be really tiring and time at times seem so pressed with deadlines, pending programs. Then when it comes to the actual event, the prep, rehersals and the actual day, it always seem that time is so short and always grabbing at lose ends to get ready. But sometimes I guess for me I don't know but I just slip into the time seems to always be not enough and when I look back, I guess that there are alot of times where actually I can be doing something more productive.

Switchfoot is seen in 2 very different lights. 1 Being that they are a very secular band, and that they are kinda very sarcastic with their lyrics. And the other light would be that they leave it rather ambegeous (excuse my bad spelling) but actually trying to tell people about God.

For this song, we can see it as time is short! So we should just live life to the max. Not needing to worry about what is going to happen next. But another side of it is that whatever we have. Fame, money even relationships with people can be temporal. This verse really speaks volume about the life that we live in.

Life is more than money
Time was never money
Time was never cash,
Life is still more than girls
Life is more than hundred dollar bills
And roto-tom fills
Life's more than fame and rock and roll and thrills
All the riches of the kings
End up in wills we got information in the information age
But do we know what life is
Outside of our convenient Lexus cages

Really life is so much more then all this. And I pray I learn to value my life above all theses. money, time, relationships, tech, whatever. What really matters is if we know what our life is for. And my personal prayer for myself is that I not only know what life is for. But also that I live my life as it was intended by the One who created me and placed me in this world, this place, this people and most importantly this life.

Prayer!

2007-09-05T00:17:00.000+08:00

WAH FINALLY THE PAGE LOADED I BEEN WAITING LIKE DUNNO HOW LONG!!!!

Haha I think that nowadays, the world is moving so so fast. Like even a web page, how fast do we expect it to load in? 2 mins 3 mins, and sometimes when it take too long we just move on to another sites. And seriously, who surf like only 1 site at a time, it is like 4 to 5 sites. I usually have sports on reload (soccer that is) couple of forums and some other videos on load at the same time.

Our need for speed doesnt just stop at the internet. I really find that life is really very very fast. And only now has God given me some ability to take a step back and just to look on for a while. Soak in the environment that I just realised how fast my life has been as well.

To cut a long story short, there were 2 wks where my whole family, me included were like not working, studying, preparing for events or anything. And it was during this period that I took a look at the lives of some people who are working. Some who are still in school and studying. This is the average timetable of a day of such a person:

6am: Wake up and get ready to leave
6:30am: Travel to work/school
7am-12pm: Work/School then 1 hour lunch break
12pm-1pm: Lunch break get a bit of a breather for the day
1pm-5pm: Continue work/school/tuition or CCA
5pm-6pm: Travel home
6pm-7pm: Dinner and some family time
7pm-10pm: Usually, homework, do some work, have abit of down time getting ready to turn in for the night
10pm>: Usuaully would be resting already

And the next day it all repeats itself. And at times when we are rushing things like projects or events, this hectic timetable gets even worse. I start to look back on the times where I was kinda part of this rut. And many times, people will start to pray, God please I wish I had more time to do this, or please give me the patience to do that or let me spend more time with someone. And somehow when this happens, people expect that things will just fall into place for them quickly and with a snap of a finger, their lives seem to be looking up. But when nothing starts happening for 1 week, 2 weeks 3 weeks. They start to think, why doesn't God answer prayers, I asked for things like having more time but nothing seems to be helping me achieve that. I myself sometimes always pray, God please help me in this and expect some miracle to happen. But God doesn't exactly work in this way.

The other day I was in the youth room with minoru talking about maths and he was saying it was kinda difficult about the number of fomulas that was needed to be remembered. And I said that the best way to learn them was to actually practice them, study them yourself, not someone guiding you every step of the way that you can actually truly learn how to do it. And afew days after that I thought, that is really the way we can learn in our lives. I was watching Evan Almighty and it was a good show I might add and "God" did say that when you pray for something, does it really just happen to you like love is just this warm fuzzy feeling that occurs. Or does He actually give you the opportunity to actually let you learn it.

At that time, it was yeah I know that, but do I truly know that when it actually comes to the crunch of it, do we know that or that little thing we know is push so far back into our mind that it doesnt seem like we know it and expect a miracle because that is what a miracle is iznt it. When something happens how we want it when we want it and saves us from what we are heading for. But life is not made up from this kinda things. Cause if everytime we were in a fix or some problem arose and there was someone there to just save us without us doing the work, we would never learn how to overcome it.

In life it sometimes it not what we accomplish or the things we do. Sometimes life is about what we can learn about God and how his providence is shown to us. So when we pray, we should not look for what can happen or what we can get out of. But we should look out for the opportunities that comes along. Well gonna stop here quite late and tired, peace out

My Personality

2007-07-17T13:18:00.000+08:00

On the Swirve Personality Test, I am a Performer. About me:

Funny. Witty. Clever. Silly. Charming. Warm. Friendly. These are all adjectives often used to describe performers. Naturally outgoing and sociable, the world is your oyster, and you're ... read more or take the Test yourself!

Starting again hopefully!

2007-07-04T00:17:00.000+08:00

HEY THE BLOG IS ALIVE!!! NO SERIOUSLY IT IS!!! AND IT IS NOT BECKY DOING IT!!!

Hahaha ok lah, shall revive my blog since everytime I open my IE it is like the first page I see and yeah really dead man. At least it wasn't dead for like 1 year or longer right? Only has been like 5 months! So shall try to restart it again.

Ok first off quick update on everything that is going on and Tan Ai Peng, next time you want an update please just read my blog k? cause now most of the things will be here but more personal things still have to ask me :P

Ok first off, just finished the June phase of the year where all the sec school students were having their school holidays. And with the school holidays, comes with our June CGEO! Finished off the CGEO feeling really tired. Travelled alot but I guess the most tiring part is actually waiting for transportation to move around. Waited like 20 mins for a bus then when it came it moves really slowly and arrived super late at each stop. So in the end our team was like 2 stops slower then the other 2 teams but I guess we still had alot of fun.

K June was also a time of alot of retreats. First off was the BLC leaders retreat. During the retreat was also a good time of looking forward for the church, looking at alot of things that were gonna change, the church building, what was going to go on in the church, ministry even big changes being planned for the running of the service. So for all you people who are wondering what these changes are... CONTINUE TO WONDER!!! cause I am not going to blog them down here and turn this into one long post.

Moving on to the next retreat. Which was our S&P leaders retreat AT.... PULAU UBIN!!! It was really fun actually. Ok first I will touch on the fun stuff. Did alot of biking, around ubin and the first day a few girls went to town to buy some stuff so me Peng and Jon went slightly later and followed them. But we took the wrong turn and my bike couldn't go onto a higher gear cause the bike is lousy so Jon and Peng went ahead and the next turning they made the right turn so effectively took a longer circle to reach as for me, I took a second wrong turn and went further away from town. Thank God I had a map and finally was sensible enough to check it and found how far I was away.. Hehe so anyway just went back to the chalet and met peng all back there and we did stuff like EAT CHILLI CRAB and basically seafood buffet for dinner. That reminds me, Ben your bday coming liao remmeber ah ubin ah, and even if you cannot come, we will be there :p hehehehe

Ok onto more serious stuff. During the retreat finally admitted to myself that i wasn't really the same person I was the previous year. Lots of things happening and I guess I could not keep up. And actually you guys may not know but I am a very self concious person. To project the strong image, I try to take on everything myself and in the end took a very serious toil on my physical and mental state and in the end, the end result did not just affect myself but actually affected alot of people around me. So first off, I would like to sincierly appologise to everyone that I have affected when I was in that state of life and I pray and hope that is one thing I would never want to go back into.

Onto something I have learned. Alot of times, I always think that doing God's ministry is confined to involvement in S&P, worship service and basically things that I was already involved in and that I could always take a step back and say ok now I am out of ministry so i no longer have to be a minister or in that sense less work load for me to take care of. But alas, it does not work in this way. Instead all of us are called to be ministers for God whereever we are whatever we are doing. Basically, we are ministers 24/7 and this was a very new thing for me. So now learning this, I guess I shouldn't have things such as running away from what I have to do or thinking that as long as I dun have a part in this, I can avoid it. But instead I should head into what I do most of it with perseverence and vigor in a ways that I can really do what I do to the best of my effort and ability.

Ok enough about retreats, now onto some other stuff. Ben finally left for Australia. I guess my close friends leaving for a place that I can't just call them and meet them is finally sinking into me. First was Sarah, now Ben. Next would be Amy at the end of this year and who knows who may be the next to go. This is a very sad yet exciting time for all of us. I guess at a certain point in time in our lives that things start to change whether we can keep up with time or not. But things will continually change and not just about the physical being of a person but also relationship wise. I think as I look back in the past 7 years since secondary school till now, I have made close friends and lost close friends. And this will continue well into my working life whether I want to accept it or not. So one thing that I would love to do is that with the time that God has given me to be with everyone around me, I pray that I can spend this time really meaningfully and purposefully that at the end somthing I can really say, this friendship has played a significant part of my life into me becomming who I am. And what will be ever more fulfilling is that at that point of time, I can still be with those who have journeyed with me all these years and are still around. As Ben left, the thought that crossed my mind repeatedly was that although we did not take many photos togethre that night and there wasn't a really big group photo, I think it would be so much nicer for everyone to progress on in life and come back together and then we can take that photo.

Well guess this basically wraps up a first entry in along long time. Guess its kinda long as well cause lots to update but till next post, which hopefully wun be 5 mths time, peace out.

Hey again

2007-02-02T05:11:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, been quite a long time since I blogged huh. Wonder if people will even realise I have updated. Anyway just a quickie one since I have just finished my project at last. Yes I know it is 5.11Am and I should be resting for my presentation at 10Am but dun think that is going to help much so may as well use that time to blog.

Quick update on what has been going on. Lots and lots of pressure. This being my final year and having already added an extra semaster has been in my mind alot and though it is nice to think that I have managed to somehow delay NS for half a year, it is more as half a year more or wasted then what I have planned out. I dunno but maybe God has a reason for me going through an extra semaster in school and we shall see how that pans out in the rest of the year. I have been under quite alot of stress the last couple of weeks with projects and trying to make good on my grades this semaster and having a good GPA that can get me into the uni I want to. Looking at my life now, I realised I really have to start thinking of what I want to do, the direction in which I want to go cause basically I do not have as much time as I would like to before this stage of my life is over and I enter into a new phase of my life.

As I talk about this at times I think about this. I am now 20 and I am still in the youth ministry. How long or how should I go about continuing in the youth ministry when pretty much soon I will no longer be in touch with alot of things such as time constraints and responsibilities that I would have to take soon. Such as work and that sorta thing. Before I know it, another 7 years would have gone by and from the time I joined the youth ministry as a member at sec 1 till no would have flown-by and with each passing year, I find it harder and harder to really keep up or really be in touch with youth ministry. So being this year a year that I lead a new CG together with my other leaders in SPY 002, I seriously pray that I would be able to sustain it as well as sustaining myself.

I had a talk with someone about sometimes I just feel so tired and that I really need a break because it just feels that I have been like an enegizer battery for so long. Since poly started I had to juggle my school work, projects and also the CG. Since coming into poly, stress just keeps mounting on and I just feel that I am about to run dry very soon. I just feel that I really am unable to go on And one thing that that person told me which made sense was that if I could just keep going without needing a break, I would think I am superman! Meaning I can just keep going and going and not stopping and at the same time not feeling fatigued. But God puts a human in such a situation mainly because this is one of the few ways that we can truly rely on God. I mean like for the past 2 weeks, I have been working on my 2 projects, doing reports, powerpoints, programming, diagrm drawing and so much more and on top of that, I still have to do CG stuff like planning, lessons, and that sorta thing that I at times just wish I can stop everything, hop on a plane to anywhere to just get away. I know that that sounds unrealistic so do pray for me that I will be able to pull through with God's help.

Well I still have stuff undone so until nxt time, Peace out

Heya

2006-11-22T01:29:00.000+08:00

Hey guys long time no blog so now shall do a quickie update before I hit the sack for tonight.

Well been quite fun hanging out with the Fengshan Pri Boys. On Sunday, had a bbq with them and seriously, they were using language that I only heard of in Sec 3 man. I mean when I was in Pri school, saying WAH LAU already feel abit something not right, but their *ahem* vocab is alot better then mine at that age seriously. Anyway aside from that, they are a really nice group of boys and played cranium with them during the bbq and had quite alot of fun. So today went to play LAN with them. Despite being dead tired and having to stay up late, I thought that this was a very good opportunity to spend some time with them so went, played cs with them had quite alot of fun. Too bad one of them had to go off earlier because his temple people call him.

You know ah, nowsadays temple alot like church one. Have CG meetings, 'evagelism' and some of their songs are really similar to some songs we sing where they talk about their god being kind and good and loving. But after you know the basis of christainity and what makes it different and use real logical thinking, dun you find that yeah ah, everything in this world backs up chirstianity more then any other regligion. Take for example buddhism. Why do they follow everything so closly, when the end result is still that you are going to hell? so in the end what difference does it make right? and hindu about recarnaition. Hmm.. this one i think most of you have heard this example, if you are a bad person, and become a cockroach in your next life, what determines a good cockroach and a bad one.... hmmmm
So yeah in the end things still make sense doesnt it.

So coming back, I guess it just comes down to whether people still cling to what they want to believe or whether they want to really think about their lives.

Well that is all the time i have for now, cause i too tired liao. So till nxt time.... PEACE OUT

You raised me up

2006-11-06T00:24:00.000+08:00

When I am down and oh my soul so weary
When troubles come and my heart burden be
When I am still, am right here in the silence
Until you come and sit a while with me

You raised me up so I can stand on mountains
You raised me up to walk on stormy seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulder
You raised me up, to more then I can be

Well, now the time is 12.30 A.M on a Monday morning and I really feel like I need such a thing at the moment. There has been so many things that happened so quickly in life that before I knew it, there has been so much trouble all around me espicially with people.

You guys know that in my current blog, I dun really talk about what I am going through but more as certain things that I learn or that I manage to chance across such as stories or songs that are really meaningful to me. But I guess this post shall be abit out because I guess sometimes letting it out is alot better then just keeping it in.

Well, been having quite a fair bit trouble with people and really finding it very hard to cope. Espicially for me who is one person that doesn't really like to talk about my feelings or what is going on with me. But really i guess it is really starting to affect me but I will not go into details because it is really somethings that are very personal and not really wanting to talk about it in the open.

This song has really been an encouragement to me at the point of time when I seriously just feel that I really don't need to go through this because I am really feeling down and weary and yeah when all the troubles come, I really feel so burdened in my heart, about firstly myself, and also with the people which I am having a fair bit of conflict with although they actually may not even know it. But really God has been a strong pillar for me to lean on and cry on, and at times we may think of God being this strong pillar is really where we read the bible and spend time with Him that we suddenly feel better. And although that happens at times, at other times it does not happen. And when that happens usually for me as what I have experianced is that God sends someone to be there for you, to share and to really help you through the tough times that you are facing.

So as the song finally ends, you raised me up, really God has raised my spirits and my feelings and truly only with God's help be it through different people in your life, or just circumstances, He really makes you more than what you actually are. For without God, you can do nothing. But through God, all things are possible. Well this post is really more from the emotional part of me so dun get too used to it being this way. Peace out.

Spending time with thoughts

2006-11-04T00:56:00.000+08:00

Today was on the bus on the way to church for leaders meeting and was just listening to songs on my Ipod and looking out the window. Then the song, how deep the Father's love for us came on. And suddenly I had this imagery that came to my mind.

Ok first imagine that you are standing in a room that smells of blood and death and before you stands Jesus in a head stock thingy and someone stood behind him with a whip. And at the other end of the room stood someone who held a big book and started to read every single thing that you have done that is not acceptable to God. And for every single transgression, the person behind Jesus would use the whip and whipped the back of Jesus once. Just looking back at my life, I know that no one would be able to withstand that pain and what's more, the person who did it was not Jesus but was me. And when you cannot take it anymore, you beg and plead with the person to let Jesus go because he has done no wrong. But the person in charge says that you are not worthy to take the punishment cause it does not fix anything.

As I was thinking about this I really started to tear on the bus because that is almost the exact thing that Jesus has done for me. As the song says,

I will not boast in anything
No gifts no power no wisdom
I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from his reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds has paid my ransom

And out of the whole song, this verse really means the most to me personally and thought I may lead this song, the words really hit me while I was alone. And truly I make this my personal prayer for myself that I truly will not boast in anything be it the gifts that God has given, power bestowed from God or wisdom that is granted by God, but only I will find pride in what Jesus has done for me and that is all the pride I ever need in my life.

Finally as the song says, how deep the Father's love for us because if we really think about it, why did we do to ever get what we get from God, but it is all purely grace from God. Because seriously all of us do not deserve even a fraction of what God has given us, but we know that he has already given Jesus Christ for us and paid the price for our sins. So now the ball is in our court, what do we do since we know what Christ has done for us. And words are never enough because words without actions are just dreams and never pass as reality. Well that is all. Peace Out

5 DAYS ONLI!!!

2006-10-24T00:55:00.000+08:00

Wah you all want daily post ah?? I updated only 5 days ago so many ple keep saying update update... or was it... 1 week.. somewhere around there lah... haha ok so I shall update...

Ok... updated!! erm... I really dunno what to write about... I KNOW I POST RL!!! HAHA cheat style dunno what to blog about put RL... ok so here it goes...

October
Month of October, mainly really thank God for his providence as I finished up my internship at my company. During this period where I had quite a number of struggles at work and in my life. Being in the working force has shown me many new struggles to which I wasn't exposed to before. Such as mixing with collegues, having this time set aside for work which practically is my whole day. And being so tired that at night, that practically there isn't much that you want to do besides eat your dinner and go to bed to rest. I was really tired to the extent that i actually slept the second I got home just so that I could have enough energy to do things like plan for CGM or prepare songs or even just doing my school reports which I needed to submit to school every 2 weeks.

So actually in addition to my work, I had to do quite a lot of other things which normally a normal working person did not have to do. And through this experience i really learned to trust in God. Like when I feel that I seriously do not have the energy to keep it up, He still continues to be there for me to guide me through and really give me the strength to continue to do everything and really he has been my pillar for support whenever I just think, I cannot do this anymore, I have to rest but surprisingly I got through my whole attachment without anything. So seriously I thank God for sustaining me through this.

Also during this period was when I really started to look at my future. Where I am headed to at the moment and sometimes it really scares me. When I look at myself, I can see where I am actually headed to in terms of working life and at times, I cannot really picture myself doing things that I am headed for. But at the same time, it really is all in God's hands and I thank God for people around me who has had a talk to me regarding my next big decision. What to do after NS. In this year, I see a lot of people after NS they have no idea what to do. And I don't really want to be caught in that place where I have no plans and just waste my time away. But as I said, it really is in God's hands and Matthew 6:34 reinforces that “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” So at the moment I pray that God will help me really focus on each day that passes and take each day at a time because life is so unpredictable that anything can change in 24 hours and that he teaches me not to worry so much.

Finally my walk with God since the leader's retreat really has been improving. During that period has really been hard for me in terms of my own life where I had been facing quite a number of problems which has bene mentioned before like in School and things like that. But since then, I really examined myself and told myself that really I cannot keep giving excuses for everything that does not go according to what I think it should, and what doesn't please God. And seriously that is one thing that is a daily struggle with that I have. Like when I do not get something done on time or wake up late for something, I used to think, it is not my fault, it is because they replied me late, or because the bus took super long to come, or i couldn't get a cab. But now I really think that as i realise my own mistakes, it becomes easier to change myself because when u live in denial, you don't know what to change about yourself. But once you see it, and you really pray and work at it, it does make a difference.

EXAMS STILL ON ARGHHH

2006-10-06T21:18:00.000+08:00

Hey guys a little story to encourage everyone having exams! Hehe sorry this few post always about exams cause that is what you all going through mah! so post about exams lor!!!

A little boy was spending his Saturday morning playing in his sandbox. He had with him his box of cars and trucks, his plastic pail, and a shiny, red plastic shovel. In the process of creating roads and tunnels in the soft sand, he discovered a large rock in the middle of the sandbox. The boy dug around the rock, managing to dislodge it from the dirt. With a little bit of struggle, he pushed and nudged the rock across the sandbox by using his feet. (He was a very small boy, and the rock was very large.) When the boy got the rock to the edge of the sandbox however, he found that he couldn't roll it up and over the little wall. Determined, the little boy shoved, pushed, and pried, but every time he thought he had made some progress, the rock tipped and then fell back into the sandbox. The little boy grunted, struggled, pushed, & shoved; but his only reward was to have the rock roll back, smashing his chubby fingers. Finally he burst into tears of frustration. All this time the boy's father watched from his living room window as the drama unfolded. At the moment the tears fell, a large shadow fell across the boy and the sandbox. It was the boy's father. Gently but firmly he said, "Son, why didn't you use all the strength that you had available?" Defeated, the boy sobbed back, "But I did, Daddy, I did! I used all the strength that I had!" "No, son," corrected the father kindly. "You didn't use all the strength you had. You didn't ask me." With that the father reached down, picked up the rock and removed it from the sandbox. Do you have "rocks" in your life that need to be removed? Are you discovering that you don't have what it takes to lift them? There is One who is always available to us and willing to give us the strength we need. Isn't it funny how we try so hard to do things ourselves.

All the time we are like the little boy. Espicially in my own life I see myself in this story. Where we focus on what we might be able to do. Like maybe, I can study on my own or whatever it is, we always think that we are using whatever is around us already, friends, family and we think that that is actually enough. But the most powerful thing we can have is God. He is one that like the father in the story watches us struggle on our own and lets us do whatever we want. But we get frustrated and in the end we will just break down. But when we go to God, he is always there readily to help us and to guide us through. We are not able to say that we did everything possible so that we can improve, pass our exams until we ask God for help and then when we do, he just picks it up and helps us with it. Our God is really amazing, he is such an Almighty God and yet he bothers with each and everyone of us and this is the love of God that we can never understand. Well till nxt time peace out,

Goal in life

2006-09-29T16:49:00.000+08:00

Sometimes do you find yourself going after something that you think is something that you really want? For some of us, maybe the grades we going to get. Or some, the grades we get is just a stepping stone to that job that we want. But sometimes if you think about it, we can spend our whole lives chasing after 1 thing in life, and actually when we reach that destination, we find that it is not really what we thought it would feel like.

A little example for this, imagine that you are going on a trip. Lets say to India. And all you could think about is the Taj Mahal. What a beautiful place isn't it. Totally made out of white marbal, the beautiful gardens and the history behind it. But when you reach there, it doesn't really have that feeling that you wanted it to be. Instead, you take it like just another place. The exhilaration is gone, the excitment is gone because you had this high hopes of already what you expected to be there. But actually it is just kinda like huh?

Now after that trip u travel up this mountain side and you come to this cliff where opposite you is another mountain. And as you look closer, the mountain doesn't look that much the same and you realise that there is actually a rail road line on the side of that mountain and hanging half way down is actually an old carraige and can you imagine the sight of it. The back drop is the bright blue sky and there is this part of forgotten history on the side and you basically find that the view is the most beautiful you had ever seen.

Sometimes what we expect our lives to be, the beauty that we think is in stored for us at the end through our own dreams and goals seem to be the best thing there is in the world. But somehow, when you actually reach there, it is so empty, nothing is there. Just feels yeah i got here. So what now? But the most beautiful things that happen in our lives is what God places in our lives. How often do we think about our goals that we start to neglect what is around us all the time. The beautiful things, the scenery, the people, the situations. If you think too much of that goal but it is not in God's plan to achieve that goal. Would you whine about it and say it is not fair! I worked so hard and yet I still cannot make it. Or would you let God do His work in your life? Where he will ensure whatever is around you maybe hard difficult or trying. But in the end whatever comes from God is beautiful. So instead of rushing through life just focusing ahead, take time, look around and notice all the small things in life. Because truthfully, what matters the most and is the most beautiful is the smaller things in life.

Head knowledge???

2006-09-27T15:11:00.000+08:00

You know I really like keeping a blog, basically it shows me lessons that I have learnt of experiances that I have gone through which most probably I have already forgotten. Haizz... must be getting old man. Anyway updated less then a week ago... hehe last few days have been quite busy and tomorrow not coming into office till nxt week already so thought maybe I should update a bit right?

Ok anyway onto today, was reading back to somewhere in June which talked about the leaders retreat and about empty hearts. Well was thinking about sometimes how we as christians will know alot about the bible. We know all the books of it. For those of us in S&P we learn the gospels, nehemiah, leviticus, James and so many other books. And more often then not we really learn something from it. Can you just imagine from January to December how many weeks we have. And every week if you want to count well almost, we have our cell group meetings, then we have sunday school and then sunday sermon. And for some of us, we even meet during the week to have bible study lessons. In addition to all that, we do our own QT. How much time actually do we spend reading and studying the bible. And actually if we took it really seriously, I don't think most of us would have that much trouble in our lives at the moment. Where we cannot organise our time properly, have misunderstanding, big ones, with friends. Talk back to our parents and so many things we actually do that does not please God. If we really took our walk with God as seriously as we ought to. I don't think our spiritual life would be a 'pendulem' way. Where one moment we are flying high and everything seems jsut perfect. And other times, we seem to forget that God even exist. And even worse, some people see this rhythem as one of a christian life.

So basically I guess what I am trying to say here is this, we may not alot about the bible. Espicially for those of us who come from Christian homes, where we really started sunday school before we can understand most things and we really take that as just knowledge. But knowledge without any application is useless. Because you may know something but in the end if you just go into it with knowing what is going on, then you either take what you know and throw it straight out the window, ignoring what you have learnt. Either that or that you just do not understand it.

A little story to just illustrate my point:

2 fishes were swimming in the big blue ocean when they came across a big fat worm. 1 fish was just about to chomp down on it when the other fish stopped him. "Wait! this is just a trap by the humans. This worm is attached to a hook and the hook to an invisible line that a human is holding outside the water! Once you bite the worm, you will be hooked and the human will take you out of the water where you will die!" In the end the 2 fishes ignored the worm and swam on but a while later, the younger fish was alone and started to think about the worm again. Swimming back to the same spot, he saw that the worm was still there. He swam around the worm on top, below, at the sides and though ' there is no line, the other fish must be bluffing me, i cannot see anything so i guess it should be safe!' but as soon as he chomped down on the worm, the hook caught him and he was pulled stright out of the water. He saw the human slowly picking him up and the fish was not able to breathe but by this time, whatever knowledge the fish had was useless.

Refined like Silver?

2006-09-22T11:53:00.000+08:00

Ok was doing QT recently and was doing Malachi 3:1-5 and came across that God will refine us through fire and he will purify us till we are like Silver. And we have come across the song Refiner's fire right? But what does it really take for silver to be refined and become purified. I know I said today's post was going to be a story but thought I would keep that to either after lunch or another time cause I did a bit of reading up on this topic and I was really quite surprised at what I found.

Basically I shall first explain in layman terms cause that is all I know about this about refining silver as according to the passage. So the process of refining silver is actually very simple. If you have ever seen a silver ore, it looks quite the same as a granite rock. Nothing special there huh. Totally coarse and rough and really doesn't look like much. Actually, it looks ugly. But what a refiner does to the silver ore is that he first takes it, cleans it and then he puts it into the fire. And as said in the articles I read, the area he puts the ore into is not the soft part in case the silver melts, he puts it into the hottest part of the fire. And the reason that this is done is because the hottest part of the flame is used to burn away all the impurties and leave the precious part of the silver still there.

If you think about it, our lives and the silver ore is actually very similar to each other. As we continue in life, we get contaminated by everything that is around is, gossip, slender, lying all this kind of things and we start to lose our pureness which was what God has intended us for. But as we live our lives as a Christian, God places obstacles and diffferent events in our lives which is like the fire. And this 'fire' can be what we feel as the most intense and trying thing we have ever encounted! But God being God knows what he is doing and would not allow us to be totally destroyed by what he does.

Coming back to the silver, in a FAQ side, there was a question which asked how do you know how long to leave the silver ore in the fire, won't the intense heat burn and in the end melt the silver ore?

Here comes the best part. The answer was yes, the silver ore has a tendency to melt in the heat. Which is why the silversmith must sit there and not just throw the ore in and come back later to see how it is doing. Instead, he has to sit there until everything is melted off the silver and how does he judge when this is done. He does this when he can see his own reflection on the silver!

It is totally like God which is why he said:

2 For he will be like a refiner's fire or a launderer's soap. 3 He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver.

God doesnt just throw us to the fire and leaves us there, he watches us and leaves us inside until he can see his own reflection in us. So when facing difficult times be it in school or work or where ever we are just remember this. God doesnt just leave us there, he is always keeping an eye on us and we will be in it till he sees his image in our lives.

To end of here is a little story I found, shall not take credit for this lol, on the net which helps prove my point. Anyway till nxt time Peace out!

The Obstacle in our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the kirig's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand. Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

Dream!

2006-09-21T22:36:00.000+08:00

Ok this is a song that can be used to encourage quite a few of us, myself included at times where we find ourselves starting to forget ourselves with God where at the beginning we find we are so on! Everything we want to do it for God and everything we do is God centred!

However as time goes by, we start to wayne in our interest and we start to do things for the sake of doing. Like so many times we hear of Christians that backslide and we think we will never reach that state. It is just horrible but somehow when we stop having that furvour that we had right at the beginning. The willingness to learn. The willingess to do things and most importantly the willingness to surrender our lives to God. Like we may say yeah I know I need to do this...... BUT.... I just cannot be bothered or even the way we live our lives. And don't you think it is just scary when one day you wake up and you really are actually just a Christian just in name. So let us continue to have that fire that burns in us for Christ and that as the song says. God would rather us be hot or cold not luke warm and let us also wake up with the feeling that we have just recieved Christ for the very first time again and that we will continue to grow in Him. Further comments will be after the song.

Dream a little dream
Dream a little while
Remembering a day when you were wide eyed
Gave the Lord your heart
Gave the Lord your soul
Slowly you have taken back control

Now you're somewhere in between
Your new world and your old routine

Dream a little dream
Dream a little while
Dream with me of how you think it might be

To give Him all your heart
Give Him all your life
Give Him all your soul
Give it up give it up

Your choice is black or white
Not a shade of grey
Because in love there's no such thing as halfway
Devotion can't be suayed
Emotions can't be torn
He'd rather we be hot or cold then lukewarm

Bring the Father all your soul
There's freedom in letting go

Pray a little prayer
Dream a little dream
Dream with me of how you think it might be

To give Him all your heart
Give Him all your life
Give Him all your soul
Give it up give it up

So if you guys wanna hear the song u can ask me for the song online and it is by Avalon. I seriously think that Avalon is really one band that really writes lyrics to a song not just taking it as a song but putting their life expreiances into it and that makes it such a great band. Oh and are the words large enough? This is the largest I can go already. And always remember, God is not just there during the start but always which is why Paul wrote that we must run the good race in a way we can get the prize and no one ever said it was easy. But let us spur and encourage each other towards the finish line where we can together get the crown which will last forever. Till tomorrow it will be a story...... oh if you guys wonder, I actually have alot of time to think at work that is why I can get the stories and they are sorta changed from different articles that I read online hehe... anyway till tomorrow..... PEACE OUT MY HOMIES!!!! (ok the homies part sound abit poser but I do say peace out :P)

Another Story for you all

2006-09-20T10:29:00.000+08:00

Hey remember one of my previous post about not getting what we think we deserve? Well here is an exact story that replicated what I said, and hope you all really enjoy this story as much as I did. Oh by the way... from this post on, i will be increasing the font size due to many ple say too small cannot read... haha

Once upon a mountain top, three little trees stood and dreamed of what they wanted to become when they grew up. The first little tree looked up at the stars and said: "I want to hold treasure. I want to be covered with gold and filled with precious stones. I'll be the most beautiful treasure chest in the world!" The second little tree looked out at the small stream trickling by on it's way to the ocean. "I want to be traveling mighty waters and carrying powerful kings. I'll be the strongest ship in the world!" The third little tree looked down into the valley below where busy men and women worked in a busy town. "I don't want to leave the mountain top at all. I want to grow so tall that when people stop to look at me, they'll raise their eyes to heaven and think of God. I will be the tallest tree in the world." Years passed. The rain came, the sun shone, and the little trees grew tall. One day three woodcutters climbed the mountain. The first woodcutter looked at the first tree and said, "This tree is beautiful. It is perfect for me." With a swoop of his shining axe, the first tree fell. "Now I shall be made into a beautiful chest, I shall hold wonderful treasure!" The first tree said. The second woodcutter looked at the second tree and said, "This tree is strong. It is perfect for me." With a swoop of his shining axe, the second tree fell. "Now I shall sail mighty waters!" thought the second tree. "I shall be a strong ship for mighty kings!" The third tree felt her heart sink when the last woodcutter looked her way. She stood straight and tall and pointed bravely to heaven. But the woodcutter never even looked up. "Any kind of tree will do for me. "He muttered. With a swoop of his shining axe, the third tree fell. The first tree rejoiced when the woodcutter brought her to a carpenter's shop. But the carpenter fashioned the tree into a feedbox for animals. The once beautiful tree was not covered with gold, nor with treasure. She was coated with sawdust and filled with hay for hungry farm animals. The second tree smiled when the woodcutter took her to a shipyard, but no mighty sailing ship was made that day. Instead the once strong tree was hammered and sawed into a simple fishing boat. She was too small and too weak to sail to an ocean, or even a river; instead she was taken to a little lake. The third tree was confused when the woodcutter cut her into strong beams and left her in a lumberyard. "What happened?" The once tall tree wondered. "All I ever wanted was to stay on the mountain top and point to God." Many many days and night passed. The three trees nearly forgot their dreams. But one night, golden starlight poured over the first tree as a young woman placed her newborn baby in the feedbox. "I wish I could make a cradle for him," her husband whispered. The mother squeezed his hand and smiled as the starlight shone on the smooth and the sturdy wood." This manger is beautiful," she said. And suddenly the first tree knew he was holding the greatest treasure in the world. One evening a tired traveler and his friends crowded into the old fishing boat. The traveler fell asleep as the second tree quietly sailed out into the lake. Soon a thundering and thrashing storm arose. The little tree shuddered. She knew she did not have the strength to carry so many passengers safely through with the wind and the rain. The tired man awakened. He stood up, stretched out his hand, and said, "Peace." The storm stopped as quickly as it had begun. Suddenly the second tree knew he was carrying the king of heaven and earth. One Friday morning, the third tree was startled when her beams were yanked from the forgotten woodpile. She flinched as she was carried through an angry jeering crowd. She shuddered when soldiers nailed a man's hands to her. She felt ugly and harsh and cruel. But on Sunday morning, when the sun rose and the earth tremble with joy beneath her, the third tree knew that God's love had changed everything. It had made the third tree strong. And every time people thought of the third tree, they would think of God. That was better than being the tallest tree in the world. So next time you feel down because you didn't get what you want, just sit tight and be happy because God is thinking of something better to give you.

Interesting izznt it? Haha, anyway hope this encourages you guys who are going to sit for your exams and do not get the results you think you do and also re-emphesizes my point of my sharing during my CG on Saturday. Well got work to do so peace out till maybe later after lunch if I have free time. So till later peace out!

Little story to encourage us

2006-09-19T14:19:00.000+08:00

Here is a little story for you guys to read.

A mother wishing to encourage her son's progress at the piano, bought tickets to a Paderewski performance. When the evening arrived, they found their seats near the front of the concert hall and eyed the majestic Steinway waiting on stage. Soon the mother found a friend to talk to, and the boy slipped away. At eight o'clock, the lights in the auditorium began to dim. The spotlights came on, and only then did they notice the boy, upon the bench, innocently picking out "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star." His mother gasped, but before she could retrieve her son, the master appeared on the stage and quickly moved to the keyboard. He whispered to the boy. "Don't quit. Keep playing." Leaning over, Paderewski reached down with his left hand and began filling in the bass part. Soon his right arm reached around the other side and improvised a delightful obligatio. Together, the old master and the young novice held the crowd mesmerized. The lesson: Whatever our situation in life and history -- however outrageous, however desperate, whatever dry spell of the spirit, whatever dark night of the soul -- God is whispering deep within our beings, "Don't quit. Keep playing. You are not alone. Together we will transform the broken patterns into a masterwork of My creative art. Together, we will mesmerize the world."

It truly is comforting to know that God is always with us and that no matter what we do, no matter how small it is, with God's help, we can do wonders. And most important is that if God does not give up on us and bothers with all the small things, why should we be the ones that give up. Well till tomorrow or some other time peace out

Yo man I am zzzzzzzz

2006-09-19T10:04:00.000+08:00

Hey hey everybody wazzup!!!!!

Haha I think the last time I updated my blog was..... last week around there lah so started that time almost one post everyday, then slowly 1 post every 2 3 days... then now is 1 post a week, well u guys can expect 1 post a month in probably 3 mths time end of the year period? Like Ms Sarah Ang Si En like that, post picture only..... oh yeah that reminds me, I said I will post pictures of my office will do it next post when i am home. Cause then can upload from my phone....

Ok anyway, yesterday was at the airport to send Carol off to UK. Felt kinda wierd for me caues it was like her church friends were all there and from BLC were only a handfull of us. Firstly it is wierd cause there is this period of time when you are young and you are really at that age where you think whatever you have at that time was going to last, nothing can send each other to the ends of the world. Well guess dead wrong about that. From my year 1987 the 3 ple in YCG previously, only I am left in Singapore while the other 2 has now gone to US and UK and pretty soon I most probably would be going overseas to study as well. Wow it only seemed like yesterday we were preparing for O levels wondering where we would go. But now the only way we get to talk and it iznt very often is through cyberspace.

I am sure there are times when we are all with our friends and we really think or cannot imagine what life would be like without all these people around us. Friends, family but really if you think about it, whatever we have is God given. Friends that we have, the family that we are being placed in, every single thing in our lives. But somehow I think that when we are with friends having fun and during down times when we face difficulty, we thank our friends for ' being there' for us more then we thank God for placing them there. Do we actually place our friends the thanks that we give them more then God. And seriously sometimes when I am heavily involved in various activites like CGEO or volunteering in SYFC, I usually have to take a step back and remind myself that the reason I want to do all this things, go through practices, planning the stress and everything is all because I want to please God with what I do. But many times, I find myself slipping into this attitude that it is fun being with my friends that no matter what i go through in turns out that I just enjoy being there because of them instead of remembering what the whole purpose is for which is to serve God.

Well guess that is one thing that we will constantly fall into because of our wants usually outweigh what is needed as usual the whole want and need thing come back into it and each time we gotta stop and ask, what am I doing it for, is it really for God or is it really for myself because God looks at out heart when we do things.

Ok i feeling abit skittish at the moment... will post again later if i feel alright :P anyway till then peace out

no one in office but me.... lonely...

2006-09-11T16:36:00.000+08:00

Sigh now in office 1 collegue took off, the other went for meeting then went to the other office to meet vendors -.-. That basically leaves me with no one to give me anything to do but still have to stay inside the office and wait for the time to go home before I can leave... sad aint it.. anyway ITS ALRIGHT!! I CAN BLOG!!!! wahahhahahahha

Ok starting off, last friday was the even TGIF and becky just tried to send that video.... Sherm, why did you take it... dun i have enough of this kinda thing already... haha just kidding lah... if it really manages to bring people then i guess it is good so you guys if you really wan to use it for publicity ah... better call people ok!!!!

Ok onto a fun but tiring day Saturday.... Was totally tired that i couldnt get out of bed and well basically rushed to pack everything and went to Jurong to swim!!!!! yay!! so fun!!!! well i love the water so basically that is my element there haha so yeah wasnt that badly affected by the wave pool like sherm was... even after coming back onto land she still could feel as if she was in the wave... I felt that before when I went to wild wild wet and sat in that pool for maybe an hour then i felt that effect and it was really wierd... haha

Ok after that went down to Ben commisiong parade and that is another funny story that happened. We all tried to spot Ben in the area we thought eh would be but somehow we just cannot find him. And in the end when we could go down to the parade square we still couldnt find him and then finally a revalation!!! he was at the other end 0.0 so ran the other end and in the end took a few nice photos then went down to Xavier first bday party!!! haha he is soo cute...

Oh time is almost reaching... haha ok shall continue another time... gonna leave office soon... till nxt time peace out....

At work

2006-09-05T16:44:00.000+08:00

Haha heya peeps.. OK I am now at work and maybe next time I can take a few photos of my work area to let you guys see what i see everyday from Monday to Friday for 9 hrs a day. And as you can see by this post, i have absolutly nothing to do...... actually I just finished troubleshooting a down computer from import side but basically just find the problem, call the dell people and get them to fix it! haha easy job rite?? I am sure even becky can do it.

Anyway today for the first time I gotta bring my work home with me to complete a report... Actually it is just to start on it but yeah i find it easier to work from home then at work where the table is kinda uncomfortable for me who have wierd sitting positions. So anyway been had Sunday School where i stayed for the first part before running upstairs to move my bass to Sentuary side and the lousy keleng wanted to move the whole synthesiser over so more stuff to set up... Sigh but that's another story so sunday school and realised once again the passage being used was Daniel chapter 1! wow so many lessons from 1 single passage but in the end actually they all talk about the same thing. Our willingness to obey God. It is really that simple, from the talk i had initially from Bill Crowder to Shermy lesson on media influence and to Peng's lesson on what extent are we willing to go. It all comes back to the same thing, our willingness to obey God and secondly to what extent. I think actually this lesson doesn't really need to be taught but all of us know it at some level. But obviously we are mostly just hearers of the word and ultimately not doers. Like Peng gave the class just 1 simple task to do. 1 Week, no meat just purely vegetables, I guess by now most of us have already forgotten it already and like the guys i went lunch with have already gone against it barely 5 hours after the lesson.

Although this may seem like a funny matter to us, orh... cannot eat meat or anything only vege, if God asks that of us, will we like what we did, aiyah already done it already lah! Ate cake inside have eggs, or just laugh it off, God u not serious right? ask me give up meat become vegetarian tink i rather become a vegetable! But when God commands us to such things, it is really no laughing matter because like in Leviticus, God is dead serious about it. And really everything we do no matter how small will either please God or anger him. And remember, no instance is too small in the eyes of God, everything that we do will in the end be held accountable in front of God. And like Daniel, even with the smallest things in our lives, we can please God.

Well that is all for now, another 9 mins before i knock off so have a bit of before go off work to do so peace out.

Back!!!!

2006-08-29T21:53:00.000+08:00

hey guys i am back! i know it has been quite sometime and i apologize but I have been having my exams!!! ahhhh results out in a couple of weeks!!! SO SCARY!!!! anyway just started my attachment at a company and really have been sooo.....

BORING!!!

ok I din expect office work to be kinda like this boring. I always thought that it would have been something more dynamic, always something going on. But i am in office answering a couple of phone calls, basically troubleshooting some PCs in office, basically anything wrong just restart and see how... still cannot work? restart again. And yeah well besides that i am surfing net and chatting, just ask Jon how bored I am at work... wahahhahaha. Anyway this is just the second day, i am sure i will have something more to do evantually. If not I will be like Kang Ho in Super Rookie, just throw cds around, or in my case would be..... throwing papers around... haha

Anyway just thinking of this made me think of the devotion which I shared during the leaders get together last week which is from Hebrews 11:39-40

39These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. 40God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.

You know sometimes although we are faith but we still dun see any rewards from it, like maybe when u really trust God to pull u through your exams and you really study hard for it but still the results do not show. When this happens, it is because you did not exhibit faith in God or because God did not want you to pass. But instead, God has something planned in our lives that are even better then what we expected at that time, and it will be revealed in time. One example in my life that i can share is that after my PSLE, i was hoping to get into a good school, sort of like Cheng Chung high or Tanjong Katong SECONDARY School (no the caps were not accidental for those annoying ple) anyway in the end as you all know I went into Geylang Methodist WHICH IS NOT A GIRLS SCHOOL and was my Fifth choice. I was totally devasted. I was like how can i go into that school, my results werent even that bad. I din even get into St Hilda's! but now as I look back on life, i guess it was God's choice that i got in GM! in the end, I loved every second of my sec school life and is one of my most memorable times in my life. And truly, God's plane turned out the way he planned and not the way I planned because he truly has a greater plan and better choice for our lives. Well short post but till nxt time peace out! I dunno when i will blog again, depends on my work load... haha

Friends?

2006-08-16T03:15:00.000+08:00

You know just recently, for some reason I started to think of this story which I heard during chapel as well as being an idea for one of the skits that i don't think we have ever done so let me just share this short story with you guys.

There was once 2 friends who were very close. One of the was a very staunch christian who knew where her salvation lie in. And the other wasn't one. They practically did everything together, homework, play and shared their secrets and fears with one another. They were the best of friends but one day tregedy happened.

As the 2 of them were crossing the road, a car was speeding and hit the both of them. They were critically injured and were taken to hospital. However, the both of them sadly did not make it and passed away shortly after the accident. When the first girl awoke again, she saw a high gate and infront of it stood a man with a thick large book. As she approached the man, he opened the book and asked her for her name. As she was about to say something, she heard someone call her name from behind her and when she turned around, saw her best friend behind her. They ran and hugged each other and went back to the gate. The man at the gate once again asked the first girl for her name and she gave it. He took a couple of seconds, searched the book and found her name inside and said welcome, you are able to pass. But when her friend gave her name, the man shook his head and said I am sorry, your name is not inside.

Both friends just stood there but did not say a word. The second girl gave her name again but the man at the gate just shook his said and said, your name is not inside. At this both girls started to panic and suddenly 2 large guards came and took hold of her. The first girl started to try and pull her towards herself but the 2 guards were 2 strong. At this, the second girl started to cry and ask her, why didn't you share about Christ with me? Aren't I your best friend?? Why did you leave me not knowing the truth. But the first girl could only stand there and stare at her best friend as she was being dragged away.

Sometimes, death seems so far away to most of us that we think that our friends are always going to be around us, and we have as much time as we want to share the gospel to them to try to make them believe. Like in this story, the second girl was willing to believe, but no one ever told her about Christ. So what I am trying to say here is that we should make use of every opportunity that comes our way. Some opportunitues in life come only once, and the choice we make may be able to save our friends soul for eternity or are you going to just keep quiet? I find the picture of someone I know being dragged away from where I am a very scary thought. And I hope that this story can be used to encourage you guys. Till next time Peace Out.

4 is the magic number

2006-08-10T00:39:00.000+08:00

haha the other day was out with someone and everything was 3, i think was peng so the magic number was 3 and today shall be 4! Stole this from Tan Ai Peng (which shall change soon as soon as i think of something unless she changes my name back to DARYL!)

4 THINGS you may not have known about me.....

A) Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Tuition teacher not for church people but really getting paid! Was earning i think about $250 a month
2. Worked at Swensens as a waitor
3. Cybermatrix, LAN shop attendent (SERIOUSLY BORING JOB)
4. Assitant to a guy who repairs computers and things like that

B) Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. The Last Samurai! I love this show
2. erm, rush hour!
3. erm... erm.. ok funny show! Pirates of the Carribean!!
4. Finding Nemo!!! or Shrek actually really depends on my mood to watch it again..

C) 4 places I have lived....
1. New Upper Changi Road Blk 29 #12-768 Singapore 460029
2. Becok South Ave 2 Blk 9 #06-528 Singapore 460009
3. Bedok Soouth Ave 2 Blk 8 er... this one i dunno already
4. Bayshore for a while cause my dad got the place by i dunno how... haha

D) Four TV shows I love to watch
1. The Simpsons
2. Still Standing
3. CSI (all 3 but i like miami the best)
4. Whose line is it anyway

E) Four places I have been on vacation:
1. England
2. India
3. Thailand
4. Wales (drove up from England)

F) Four websites I visit daily:
1. www.soccernet.com
2. www.storm-cz.com/forum.php
3. www.ign.com
4. my email

G) Four of my favorite foods:
1. BEN AND JERRIES!!!! (Fav flavours is either CHUNKY MONKEY!!!! or STRAWBERRY CHEESE CAKE!!!!)
2. erm.... i like mee goreng the indomee one....
3. BBQ CHICKEN WINGS!!!!
4. SASHIMI!!!!!!

H) Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Taiwan on holiday
2. Africa for an adventure trip
3. Phuket learning scuba diving. U wan scuba?
4. anywhere where I have my family and friends

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!!!!

2006-08-10T00:23:00.000+08:00

Ha told you my short break in blogging was because of my projects, i am blogging quite regularly now! maybe cause i have things to blog about... wahahhahaha

Ok first off i shall show u 2 photos! can u guess what they are? THEY ARE CHEESE AND CHOCOLATE FONDUE!!!! WOOHOOOO was my mum's bday actual day yesterday.Yes she was born on National Days Eve! so cool right?? every one in Singapore celebrates her bday! haha, abit lame. Anyway went to this really cool swiss restaurant in Suntec, and talk about expansive dishes, there each meal is approxymately $50 per person alright?? that is like whoa!!! but my dad always spends that much on food on each on our bdays like mine was about $45, his bday usually is about$35 cause we usually eat buffet cause he likes that and my mum has really high taste so yeah usually the most but of course, the person who benefits the most is usually yours truly! haha cause i get to enjoy all 3 meals, well actually the 3 of us eats the same but i enjoy it the most! WAHHAHAHAHA anyway yeah just really appreciate my family for what it is. Although we may not be the richest family but one thing that i am totally glad that i have is that we all have the Love of God espicially me and my mum who really share the same thing about church that we need to be in it to really experiance it. But sadly my dad doesnt feel that strongly i think because of his work and basically he was not a christian until he met my mum. And she strongly told me about christians and non-christians gettin married will either end in 2 ways. 1 is that He converts but may not be as strong as his partner and number 2 which is the worse is that the Christian backslides in his or her relationship with God to accomodate the other. I guess this is why in the bible always states never get together with another from a different yoke.

Well that is my parents for you. But i can tell u that with them it is seriously alot of fun. Kinda laughing alot and yeah u will just enjoy being with them. BUT they like to rat out on me... WHICH IS SOOOOO NOT RIGHT!!!!

Ok onto national day! THIS IS MY COUNTRY!!! THIS IS MY FLAG!!!! BUT THEN IF WAR COMES!!!! I RUN TO QUEBEC!!!!!!! yeah right.... haha ok maybe i won't... well at least to Quebec haha. Anyway spent the day preparing for the BBQ in church went to collect the satay and otah went back bathe and everythiig and went down. Then after that Amy came went to help her prepare all the seafood AND YEAH!!! I DIN EAT MY MUSHROOM CHEESE!!!! AHHHH

Well its alright. Guess everyone had fun playing the game of catching in church well, i know i was just ran silly, it was soooo tiring. But i am really glad to see the members all having fun like that, i really wonder when was the last time we came together and had so much fun like that? hmmm.... somehow, i just pop all the way back when we had an outing at Pasir Ris Park and maybe we should do something more like this! Well National Day is now officially over, need to prepare for a briefing tomorrow regarding my ITP which is my attachment so till next time which my next post would be in about 20 mins time cause i gonna steal something from Ai Peng Peace Out!! haha i actually typed Peach out... wahahhahaha ok ciao

CLICK!

2006-08-07T23:43:00.001+08:00

hey yo now it is about 20 mins before my mum bday so before i go gif her her present (which is a korean dvd i hope she likes) and wish her happy bday, thought i would just drop a line here.

You know how many times we always think when we are in hardship, we just wanna get it over and sometimes when the good times come we wishes it never ends. And espicially when we face a difficult time, we just want to fast forward to when we enjoy the time. And that is exactly what the show click is about. Although the show was maybe kinda abit in the fantasy realm maybe it is not that much of a fantasy but instead this is exactly how we live our lives.

For example in the show when the main character has an argument he is sorta like just fastforwards it and doesnt even know what his wife was talking about. But if I think about it, when may parents start talking about something, I sort of just phase myself out and dun wan to listen to what they say and it seriously is just as good as fast forwarding through cause although time maybe not as fast, but the effect is exactly the same. And yeah how many times of our lives will actually zoom past because of this. And like the control that learned preferences, we also have our own preferences and when we encounter the same kinda situation, we always react in the same way! Like more work? push it to someone else. Argument? maybe in the heat of it, or maybe totally not interested. And we always will do the same thing over and over agian when it arrises.

Probably I think the scariest part of the show is that while maybe the fastforwarding part was super exaggerated where he din realise it passing and was on 'auto pilot' but actually isnt that also what is happening in our lives, we kinda like zoom past day by day which turn into weeks and months and before we know it, it is again new years day. And it is actually scary when actually you think about it, we are really kinda in auto pilot doing things we do. Wake up go to school or work, and try to do it to out best that we actually neglect family at the expanse of it. I think the real saddest part of the show for me was when his father went to the office to look for him but because he was on 'auto pilot' he was practically zombie and responded in a way that really hurts the people that loves him and cares about him. And I really sometimes think that that is the way i actually respond to my parents when i feel irrtated, and it actually really cuts stright to the heart for someone to recieve a response like that after trying to show care and concern. And it really hit me stright in my heart, that it really hurts and sometimes no matter how much u try to do, small instances like this really push the relationship strain to its max that it even hurts for the other person to talk to you. And from this i really have resolved myself to be more patient with people like my grandparents and parents and even friends around me. Truly this show is about spending whatever time you have with the people you care about and to maximize the time that is given by God to you with the people you are with.

So next time just before you want to brush someone off even if is a sign of impatience with parents just think about it. Life is so fragile that in the nxt second your life or the person's life would be taken away and your last response to the person was, Stop bothering me! What would that last persons thought's be, about how u just brushed him off just because he approached you while u were maybe in the wrong mood or just busy and didnt want to be disturb. I think that is something that will stay with you for a long time that the last thing u did was such. For me i think that no one person is more important than any task you are doing, be it in work or in studies, and just a few seconds of your time, could make someone feel loved back and warm inside. Just like Sunday's service sermon, we were called to care for one another and this is one way i think we as Singaporeans seriously lack espicially not just me but alot of my friends who share with each other as well. Well i guess this show has really touched me alot and till next time peace out!

dying

2006-08-04T10:07:00.000+08:00

Sigh i seriously am dying.... On tues nite went swimming and started to feel super cold. Then Jean Shen was around me and was like, it is ok leh, but i was really shivering man. Then was alright until yesterday suddenly for no reason, my whole body started to feel achy and i felt cold again. Must be i am falling sick. Please pray for me that God may sustain my body at least till my presentation later but at the moment i really feel bad, i just wanna curl up and go back to sleep but i can't. Sigh

I know i said i would post my RL but haven been able to get around doin it yet, cause of my projects so this time i promise that i would post it up nxt time. Also last thing, this will be my last post for about a week cause my lappie going on a journey, so till nxt time, peace out.

Love?

2006-08-03T16:10:00.000+08:00

Hey like my new skin?? i actually find it just ok, but it is just temporary ok?? gonna change it to something nicer soon... when i find it... hahaha, which i also hope will be soon.

While scanning through the many skins i came across this skin which i thought was super meaningful. It showed a picture of the cross and the wordings on it was; " Nails did not keep Christ on the cross, Love did" and well it really is very true because Christ was God and He could have gotten himself off the cross easily. And can u actually imagine if he did? the thousands of people there would stright away become believers. But if he had, his blood would not have covered the sins of the world and for the millions of people that were not there it would be a different story for everyone on earth at this point of time. Truly is the grace and mercy of God that Christ chose to stay on the cross for the whole world.

haha ok that is my thought for today, next post shall be my rl. Till next time Peace Out

I'm back!!!

2006-07-27T16:08:00.000+08:00

yoyo!!! I AM BACK!!!!! woohooo projects are over.... well not really lah, just that i finished my part and i hope my group members all can handle their part..... well no used just wondering right?? i think i shall just go ask them... yeah i will later when they get home, cause they have class...

Anyway went for an ultra super talk last nite by Bill Crowder, i mean seriously good. He talked about pressure in the world we live in. And that using the book of Daniel gave various illustrations of what we actually go through. I think really think about it, what ever we do, there isnt a period of time where we do not have any pressure. Be it pressure from peers, parents or even situations, pressure is always there around us and no matter what we do, pressure is always there. Basically to sum up his sermon he asked 3 very very provocative questions that i think is a good question to start asking ourselves.

The first question is, What is going to shape my conviction.
This question came about by talking about Daniel how was put under intense pressure by the King to conform to idolotory and things like that. And how such a simple and small thing like food, which to Daniel and his friends was something that would go against God. And although it was such a small thing, they were obeidient to God till the end which firstly showed their conviction about their resolve to obey God all the way and one thing that struck me in this part of his sermon was when he said that Daniel made up his mind to be obedient. Cause firstly alot of people always tell me, if i make up my mind, i can do it like my studies to be focus on it and things like that. but for Daniel he made a very wise choice on what to make his mind up to, whcih is to be obedient to God. and as a parting gift from this part of the sermon is this very simple statement to think about together with the question.
As a person thinks in his heart, that is what they are.

Ok now onto the second question.: Where is my focus?
Now this part is slightly shorter compared to the first part but i will still summarise it the best i can. This part is basically how Daniel prayed to God requesting his compassion. If you want a clearer picture of what was going on, go read Daniel chapter 2. Anyway the focus of this chapter that was being brought across was the part where Daniel once he recieved the answer from God, did not run to save himself or to go tell the King. But instead he worshipped God. Which showed his focus being not on himself, not on other people and not the situation that was happening. But instead, his focus from the beginning was on God. So bring it back in context a good way to see where our focus is is on the way we pray. Do we focus on the situation, the person, the thing that we want? or do we actually focus on God where we know that when we pray it is a request of compassion of God on us and not what we want or what we need.

Finally the last question which i think is the best thing to think about.: What's it gonna take for me to be obedient to God and not to be consumed with myself?
I actually think that this question is one not for us to answer on our own because what ever we answer, i think it is still not enough. Like maybe we think maybe all we need is a little talking to, or a small incident that may happen to us to make us obedient to God but i truly think that we as humans because of our sinful nature will be very hard for us not to be self obsessed and to be obedient to God. It is just part of our sinful nature to be so inward looking. So i think only God will answer this question for us when something happens. And God does not waste anything. Everything that happens is for the glory of God so what God does in our lives, situations and people he places there for us to face and encounter. God has a purpose for everything and God does not waste. It took 7 years of being like an animal for King Nebucannazer to know the glory of God and to know how god is. So what is it going to take for me to know that truly not just in our minds or just know it. But truly understand it in our hearts and to believe it that it will atually affect our lives.

Well this basically is the summary of the sermons, cause it was 3 sermons in that short period. But i think that it was a really good sermon and I will be back with tonights sermon... maybe tomorrow or soon lah.... anyway till next time peace out...

Trying not to fall asleep.. ITS ONLY 4!!!

2006-07-19T15:46:00.000+08:00

ok i just took my medicaiton and in order not to fall asleep i shall do this... 50 Questions!!! stole from becky after my 3 mth break from friendster... hehe and she did it a long time ago i think.... anyway here it goes

1) How old do you wish you were?= erm...i think 18... was fun and didn't feel that old

2) Where were you when 9/11 happened?= I remember this one.... i was watching wwe at home i still remember it was a ppv cause it started at 2am then the news flash came on.... haha

3) What do you do when vending machines stealyour money?= sigh just had this on monday, nothiig lor just walk away

4) Do you consider yourself kind?= i am too kind :P

5) If you had to get a tattoo, where and what wouldit be?= hmmmm i always though tatoos should just be confined to the arm where it doesnt look too bad but i dun think i will ever get one

6) If you could be fluent in any other language whatwould it be?=Lets see, first i have latin then korean then italian i love languages, just dun haf the opportunity and the time to go and learn

7) Do you know your neighbors?=yup yup, he was my teacher in sec school... wahahhaha

8) What do you consider a vacation?=Going somewhere where i dun need to think of anything, besides what is at hand, and just relax, no stress, no worries.

9) Do you follow your horoscope?=Hmmm all i know is that i am an aries, that is about it... haha

10) Would you move for the person you loved?=wah this kinda question, i think i will, or rather i will lah. See i am sooo nice

11) Are you touchy feely?=I dun think so.... hehe

12) Do you believe that opposites attract?=depends what kinda opposites doesnt it, and well i dun think so in alot of cases with people

13) Dream job?=erm... dream job would be....... i dunno actually i love so many things, work with computers, work with animals hmmm... i think being a DJ is kinda cool too, but jounalism can travel the world... AHHH I DUNNO!!!

14) Favorite channel(s):=erm.... when i watch tv the first few channels i go to is star world axn sports and yeah that's about it... really depends what is on...

15) Favorite place to go on weekends:=Erm.... anywhere but school at the moment.... I NEED TO GO TO SCHOOL ON SATURDAYS TO DO PROJECTS!!!! AHHHHHH

16) Showers or Baths?= although i like baths i would choose showers cause less time consuming.

17) Do you paint your nails?=no no no no no no no no no no...... anyone wanna go do a menicure?? hahah just kidding..

18) Do you trust people easily?=i dun think so, althought i do lead people to think i do....

19) What are your fears?=erm..... fears ah.... erm.... alot actually, things climbing up my neck hate that, not being a christian when i think i am... that is just scary means my whole life is false!!

20) Do you want kids?=yup, but not too many though....

21) Do you keep a handwritten journal?=No too lazy to even write, online one counted?? hehe

22) Where would you rather be right now?=Now??? under my covers at home instead stuck in school.....

23) What makes you feel warm and safe?= blanket erm by bed, friends and family, that basically covers things that i think....

24) Heavy or light sleeper?=light, now sleeping in my grandparents room people go out come home i can hear when i sleep, neighbour go out i also can hear... jia lat..

25) Are you paranoid?=no.... i dun think paranoid, just easily aggitated

26) Are you impatient?=i think i am to alot of things....

28 ) How do you feel about interracial couples?=I think it is alright you know, why judge people on their colour

29) Have you been burned by love?=can i answer this as a no comment?? of course i can, no one can say whether i can or not

30) What's your life motto??=Just decided on one, BEGIN EACH DAY AS IF IT WERE ON PURPOSE!!!! gives u a drive for the rest of the day

31) What's your main ringtone on your mobile?=SMS is jay chou yue qu and calls is hua tian cuo by wang li hong!!

32) What were you doing at midnight last night?=erm...... midnight was online

34) Who's bed did you sleep in last night?=MY GRANDPARENTS!!! I WAN MY AIRCON BACK!!!!

35) What color shirt are you wearing?=Red

37) Name five things you have with you at alltimes?=HP, wallet, keys, mp3 and money??

38.) What color are your bed sheets?=blue and white

40) What is your favorite part of the chicken?=Drumstick!!! u meant for eating right??

41) What's your favorite town/city?=at this point of time if i could go anywhere i want?? erm.... most probably just stay in Singapore because of how close everything is, but if on vacation there is: spain, italy, france, the bahamas, the carribean, the continent of Africa and well lots of places

42) I cant wait to..=End this semaster and go on holiday!!!

43) Who got you to join frenster?=erm..... i cannot remember... long time ago...

44) What did you have for dinner last night?=Pasta Fresca!!! had cabonnara but tooo gao... din finish it, but the dustbin came to finish it :D

45) How tall are you barefoot?=171 i guess that is average

46) Have you ever smoked crack?=i smelled it before but not smoke...

47) Do you own a gun?=erm, no? of course, if i had i would be in jail.

48) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?=Water, but i need to go toilet after that...

49) What is your secret weapon to lure in theopposite sex?=wah wat a not nice word, lure, attract can?? haha i think for anyone this is some advice, just be yourself!!!

50) Do u hv A.D.D.?=What is add?? is it the attention defecit thing?? well i can concentrate if i want to!! haha i dun think i have lah..

51) Current worry?=Exams comiig, deadlines coming, need to teach this satuday

52) Current hate?=I HATE............... BITTER STUFF!!!!!

53) Favorite place to be?=I love being at the beach actually, just that it is soooo inconvinient to get there.

54) Where do u think you'll be in 10 yrs?= i dunno actually haven thought that far, maybe having a nice carreer with a nice family hopefully earned my first mil :P

55) What songs do u sing in the shower?=i dun sing in the shower.....

56) Last person that made u laugh?=erm...... i remember what but u cannot remember who.... i think was charis witht eh box headed chick... HEHE

57) Worst injury u've ever had?= i think i have a fractured left ankle but din get a scan but noe it is super super weak. A fractured left fingure... oh and all are basket ball related... haha

ello poppet

2006-07-16T21:00:00.000+08:00

Aye! This shall be the one post that I shall type in a pirate slang. You saavy? haha ok lah quite hard to keep this up. Shall revert to my usual england with abit of that pirate language.

Ok first off, went to class on thursday and went through taking temperature sign in everything. And that is before I even go for class.. sigh and I think I may have caught something from there, after I ended class felt feverish so went home and slept. Well the slept sorta made it worse and my mum din hear me when I called her to buy panadol for me so since that time all the way till now sunday nite, i felt my body getting worse and no medicaiton... sigh and the worse thing is that tomorrow I have a presentation and I think if i really dun feel well tomorrow I may have to give it a miss which i hope not because then i leave them there alone... so scary, BUT i am sure they can cover lah... hehe

Ok well saturday had cg and was a good lesson though i still quite puzzled by the word used in the passage as in why did they use puzzled and not a stronger word for it, anyway shall study abit more into it and erm.... oh stayed up late preparing lesson which was not so easy cause i not sure what was taught and stuff like that so AYE!!!!! IT WAS A DIFFICULT TIME IT WAS!!! hehe anyway sunday thought it went quite ok so had church and after that went to white sands for lunch. Went to swensens and the new menu is quite cool!!! THE NEW CAKE WITH ICE CREAM THINGY WAS NICE!!!! I HAF PICTURES FOR YOU TO SEE IF U WAN!!!! haha anyway guess i will stop here... cannot concentrate cause of the current feeling i have and i need to take some flu drink my mum just bought for me... so till later peace out, AYE AYE CAP'AIN!

having a late nite

2006-07-11T03:41:00.000+08:00

Heya guys its me again, well decided to post something more substantial since some people said my last post was too short which I agree and that b4 that my 2 previous post were cheating... well are they?? haha anyway let me keep u updated with my life....

Well first off, had a nice week end with the first cg meeting after the long June break and seriously while planning out the plan for the rest of the year and showing the members on Saturday, I am really really excited about how it is going to turn out, i mean the plans are just so exciting with all the cool and fun stuff we gonna do and at the same time learn about God and his work for us, so many things going to happen and I shall not spoil some surprises for everyone by telling what the plans totally are ok?? you have to be ok with it cause in either case, i am not going to tell much wahahahhaha, evil me.

So after that was we sent Ben of to taiwan and left the airport around 2 plus reached back 3 plus and needed to prepare the rooms and beds for the people who stayed over at my place which are: Amy Sherm Jon JS. Think it would have been fun if we probably reached back like 5 hrs earlier? then we could have done some stuff together maybe open a bottle of wine as my house is stocked with it.... But then again maybe not, haha anyway when we got back i was soooo bushed i went stright to sleep and before i knew it... it was time to get up and it was sunday

Well during service i found the sermon really entertaining about King Herod and something that he might have been going through and it posed alot of interesting questions about lives, people's goals and motivations and why we actually do the things we do... well kept me thinking, why do i really do the things i do? like being in S&P youth ministry, going to the same church since then, studying so hard for my diploma and why basically my life is going the way it is and sometimes i guess i lose track of that goal which is to ultimately glorify God through my life, whcih is why at times i may turn in half hearted work for school, or procrastinate on stuff to do for cg till the last minute and i guess THIS HAS TO STOP!!!! well easier said then done but like i said in my reflection letter, I SHALL CONTINUE TO PERSERVERE!!!!!

haha well then today was the first day without my maid so left home without making my bed cause i was late, woke up late cause of the match.... hehe, well after tht went to school, basically was a zombie through the first half of the day cause there was nothign to do seriously, the tutor chased us out of class with saying nothiig to do get out go do something better, so i did.... i had lunch :D ahahaha well i haven eaten so tht was nice. But for my second lesson i really had alot of fun seriously. My and my frens kept cracking jokes at stuff turn in ultra lame answers for the discussion questions and basically just laughed from beginning to the end. Thank God the tutor for this module was nice so she had fun along wif us and made it more interesting but surprisingly, she found substance in our senseless answers... wow hahaha.. well after that no dinner at home so met charis and amy at white sands for dinner.... Lerk Thai food is nice, and some more they having a special promotion period where the pineapple rice was ONLY $2 !!!! can you believe that... so cheap well the * said had to have a minimum purchase of $10 which was not a problem so had a nice dinner and went back and was soooo tired i knocked out for a couple of hourse.

Well finally woke up helped sherm with her project and watch my dvd that i borrowed!! HITCH!!! i finally watched the show man and well it was ok film i guess, not laugh out funny but it was an interesting show about love, a problem that no one on earth can solve, and the different takes on it.

Well interesting day in the end for me and i guess this finally counts as a real post huh... well till nxt time i have some interesting stuff to post peace out......

ITALIA ITALIA

2006-07-10T13:19:00.000+08:00

WOOOHOOOOOO ITALY WON THE PENALTY SHOOT OUT!!!!! NO FRACE WIN!!!!! ITALIA!!!!! THE BLUE AZZURI!!!!

Empty Page

2006-07-08T13:17:00.000+08:00

This is one song that I feel that is close to my hear because this is what I hope i can do but because of my sinful nature, it doesn't really show that way in my life. But as i said in my reflection letter, i shall continue to work at it. Here is the song, empty page:

I am nothing without you
I'm not ashamed to say
But sometimes still I doubt you
Along my way

I am nothing without you
I am an eagle with no wings
If I forget about you
I lose everything

My heart's an empty stage
Now let your play begin
My life's an empty page
For you to colour in
Your love

It's such a common feeling
To be misunderstood
But from you there is no conceiling
You know my bad from good

So I am not pretending
My story never fails
I've already read the ending
And your love prevails

My heart's an empty stage
So let your play begin
My life's an empty page
For you to colour in
Your Love

When I think of all the time I've wasted
My ideas the crazy dreams
If only every man would taste this wine I tasted
We'll begin to learn what freedom really means

My heart's an empty stage
Now let your play begin
My life's an empty page
For you to colour in
Your Love

I am nothing without you

This song really says it all when it say I am nothing without you like it says in John 15:5 where Jesus tells about the vine and the branches: I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. Truly we cannot do anything without Jesus and that we truly are nothing without Him.

Heh 2 quick posties izznt it. Well its cause now i the lib nothing to do friends went for lunch, i really eat to fast man so come back and blog first... well guess now its back to work again, peace out (and becky i always say peace out when i type stuff like letters and things like that so i am not a poser u possum... :P)

Busy busy busy

2006-07-08T03:06:00.000+08:00

Hi all, sorry for not posting or updating for sooooo long, actually not that long lah considering its almost 1 and a half weeks and not 1 and a half years right?? right?? i am sure u guys will agree with me... anyway i shall start off today's post by.... COPYING AND PASTING MY REFLETION LETTER!!!! WAHAHAHAHA lazy stuff but will say stuff after that lah ok?? so here it goes:

Wow so fast and half the year is gone. Really want to thank God for blessing me thus far in my life in almost all aspects in my life.

Firstly I shall start of with my responsibilities as a student. Finally in my final year of poly and got to say that the first time since school started back in April I have really been starting to get into the grove of things. From the transition from doing absolutely nothing all the way to being back in school being bombarded left and right by projects, tutorial, quizzes and of course the common test at the beginning of the month really I can sense a big difference in myself since the previous few terms in poly. Firstly, I have gotten over that regret that I felt for a large part of my second year which lead to me disappointing so many people around me especially my parents who I hope do not have to go through what they went through again because of what I did or did not do. And now I look at my school life through a different perspective and really strive to do what is right for God’s glory and this being my last year in school, I really think that it is time for me to really take a step up in my evangelism especially to 2 or 3 friends who have been with me since day 1 in year 1 till now. I pray that as I minister to them through whatever small pockets of time we have together and that I would be able the cease the opportunity when it arises.

Now in June there was the leader’s retreat which really allowed me to reflect on my role as a leader in S&P and also on myself personally. I have been told by some people that I tend to find excuses for things that I haven not done well sort of covering up for myself and always saying “no it’s not my fault! It is somebody else’s fault!” and I guess by saying this doesn’t help myself to grow well and that it also does not reflect well on who I am and how serious I should take things because if I myself do not see my own growth seriously enough to make changes, what more in my ministry that I do and how I go about doing in. Whether I really do it because my heart wants to do it, or because it is just the thing to do. And really during the leaders retreat, the message from John McArthur really ministered to me in a way that I guess I may have heard the same things before but I never thought about it in that way where it places so much on the foundation on ones heart and it really impacted me where I sat down and seriously looked at my own life. It really hurts especially for someone like me who has a lot of pride to really say yes it is a mistake I made and now the next course of action which I need to take is to correct it. And one verse that really encourages me a lot is in Hebrews 12:1-3 1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Through this verse it continues to remind myself that I should fix myself on Christ and that I must continue to perseverance and that in the end through Jesus I would be able to have perfect faith that God would be happy with

Finally as I embark onwards toward July this will be the most trying month so far as deadlines start to pile up and a lot of work have to be done within S&P itself as we continue to move forward with each other that we would be able to teach one another through God’s word and that plans that have been laid out will be able to bear fruits. Also that in my own walk with God that I personally continue to persevere through what I have to change in my life and what I need to do for my school work. Pray for me that I have the diligence to keep up with my school work but also to not neglect those around me especially my family who I feel have become closer together.

Daryl Yong

Well that is my reflection letter. Hope u have fun reading it... Good night... hehe just kidding lah.... ok shall keep u updated with my life since the last time i blogged. Well have been really really busy with loads and loads of assignments to complete and thank God!!! I HAVE COMPLETED!!!!! 2 projects out of 6...... yes i know it may be very little but today as i was in school i officially ended my human resource management where my group and i were suppose to come up with a board game that explains HR functions!!! how ludacrious is that!! haha anyway we came up with it implemented and personally i feel quite good about it.... and it looks quite nice!! it is totally hand drawn wow right!!! and the other project is my operations management which was basically a report to write together with my group so serious THANK GOD I FINISHED THIS 2 PROJECTS!!! so now i left with my KMS, WISP..... ah well u get the idea....

Ok so guess that practically summed up most of my days from monday to saturday and well at nights it is the usual things i have done music, chat, surf net and well yeah that... well the time is now 3.30 AM ok... so time for me to get some rest... tomorrow another day of work... i think i can get used to working life if it is like that from monday to friday AND I GET PAID!!!! WAHAHAHAHHA..... ok there i am going quite crazy so till nxt time my homies... peace out

haha first post when i am in school

2006-06-28T15:08:00.000+08:00

HAHAHA having my operation management class now and feeling bored as you can see. haha so decided to blog lor.... nice rite??? haha ok lah... actually waiting for somemore people to come in that why so free... haha

Ok on to today blog. Just been having this thought ever since i watched the show Just my Luck. Hehe surprised i watch this show? Well i myself am surprised i ended up watching the show and just to think about how some people their lives are being run by a thing called luck. Hmmmm wonder what is really counted as luck? when things go their way? or when something unexpected happes is it luck? and isnt it sad that some people their lives are run by it. Well at least what I know about my life is that God is always there and he is always in charge of everything. To me, nothing occurs by luck, everything happens for a reason that maybe unknown to us. But everything happens to God's sovriegn plan (sorry if i spell wrong cause i not thinking stright at the moment hahaha) and in the end all will be made sense of it in God's plan even if our measly lousy wisdom doesn't understand it all our lives. But actually if you think about it, although the show was ultra exagerrated, where there was 1 born winner and 1 born loser, well if u wanna noe go watch the show, there are really people who really allow their lives to be run in such a way, and they appear around us all the time. Like some of my friends that actually visit fortune tellers to tell their future and actually dun go out after 9 on certain days and allow their lives to be run by superstitions and rituals such as burning of hell bank notes during the hungry ghost festival and the reason they are trapped in this cycle because they are ignorant to something that we know which is Jesus Christ. So in the end, it is our job or something that we should do not because people tell us to share the gospel, but because we genuinely feel for the people around us.

Well onto something less serious now, spent the day today doing projects again and hopefully I can finish most of them by next week WOOHOO seriously hopefully and that i would be able to go through most of my attachment ok. Actually i startin to feel quite excited going on it as all i known all my life is school life and for the 8 weeks, i am going to try out the working world. Seems interesting but i dun really know how it would go but it is making me nervous and excited at the same time...

Well guess my tutor gonna start already till nxt time peace out

Sleep

2006-06-26T20:02:00.000+08:00

Wow I think i really just slept the whole day today besides going down to the doctor!!

Haha ok let me start from the beginning. Spent the last week having a cough and sore throat and i was thinking, well this seems minor, usual nose block and cough think i should be able to survive it and my mum who went to see the magic doctor on monday was like, go see lah go see lah, but i dun like polyclinics even if my fren is workin there. So i said dun wan lah, its ok one lah... but would she listen?? nooooo haha and now i hear no end of it. So fast forward to today, woke up and had a presentation about myself, it was individual, and guess what? i was like totally croaking and when i tried to get up, i must have coughed too hard the previous nite that my stomach was all totally pain so there i thought i think i should see a doctor and went and guess it was quite alot more serious then i thought cause it became quite a bad throat infection, well that is according to my doctor anyway, and have this quite big antibiotic pills that are pink! haha they look nice actually just real hard to swallow and i have a 2 day mc which i took for today but kinda useless for tomorrow cause i also do not go to school on tuesday! anyway i am now thaning the discomfort and i know God will be with me.

Speaking of God, last saturday had to prepare and teach during CG. Well i think as i prepred my own word, it was like i am preparing it for my cg members but somehow, this also applies to myself and for those who heard me on saturday may also think about it about themselves. It is like i never relly thought what life would be if I did not have a group that was there to help me and through that statement i knew my security was not in God but in the people but then i thought back to the time i helped out in REW week with SYFC and ivy was sort of saying that no matter what i was one person who would survive even if there was no one there, I dunno if i should take encouragement in that people think that I am independednt in my faith, or that I have become too complacent that even though people can say that about myself that i myself can think about the what ifs in my life. Well i guess this is one question that is more between God and myself where i really have to reflect on myself and think whether i really place my secutrity in God or in other things.

Well tonite my team is playing UP ITALIA!!!!! and we all know they can beat the lousy aussie team and go all the win and win the cup at last!!!! WOOHOOO ITALIA!!! ok i guess i will stop here... getting tired again, i dun like this cough mixture always makes me tired... sigh ok peace out

Sick man

2006-06-22T23:06:00.000+08:00

Wah i seriously hate being sick. The whole feeling is just horrible and now i am living with a totally blocked nose and a very sore throat which i felt coming quite some time back. Now the only thing that is missing to make my miser complete is sore eyes and a fever. In that case, I would totally just stay in bed not going to get up man.

Anyway today went to school although it was a school holiday to do my HRM project. Now i know why bored games come out so slowly or new board games at least. It is so hard to think of the concept and to implement it. I am totally like going to die already and we are only half way through after 2 long straight days. Sigh but i know that we shall in the end come out with a finished product with God's help and I am sure that i will be able to perservere through it.

While doing my project, any free time i had i was preparing my lesson for Saturday and shall not say more about it to not allow the others to find out what i am planning... wahahhahaha.... anyway what i want to say about it is that it is soo hard planning it and everything but i hope tomorrow when i meet romans would be able to iron it out.

Ok i think i cannot type anymore or i think i gonna puke over my keyboard so till nxt time peace out

I'm BACKKKKK

2006-06-19T23:12:00.000+08:00

Yes i am finally back from church camp and surprisingly not that tired, must be the sleep I had on the bus or maybe the nice sleep I had on the last day.... aiyah whatever it is it has helped haha.... ok on to a slight recap of the LCS retreat....

Ok almost lost my voice through it. Did quite abit of shouting and having quite alot of fun not only with people from our own church but also got to know other youths from other churches like Jurong Christian Church, Quessntown Lutheran Church just to name a few and basically was a good time of bonding between the different congregations and I think the biggest accomplishment that I see in terms of bonding was probably how close the chinese and english congregations of BLC became during this camp and this is one thing I hope we can continue through the future.

Also during the retreat with the theme being, building a church that bears the name of the Lord, and breaking down the theme into 3 different messages was Bishop Robert Solomon who was an excelent speaker and I think what he says really applies to alot of people and makes people think about certain things and the analogies he gives is one that can stay with you for a long time for example is that everyone is climbing a ladder and at times we can go really really fast but other times we are slower but we are always trying to get to the top but at the end of it, will you find the top an empty wall or something more meaningful, in other words are we climbing the wrong ladder. cool huh but shant type too much on this if not maybe by 12 plus i am still here consolidating it and typing it down.

Well i am still suffering from the sore arms from church camp and feeling more effects of the tug of war game. Well i shall now go on today what happen. Cool english speaking me... hahahaha anyway went wif my mum to loctor office at Pasir Ris poly clinic cause she wanted to pick up vitamins then had lunch wif her and suppose to meet that lousy hibernating bear who said will wake up before 12 then in the end 2 pm STILL HAVEN WAKE UP!!!!! LOUSY!!!!!! haha anyway after that decided to go home anyway cause i was tired and i had to go to Toa Payoh sports hall to help out with the opening ceremony of teen games, was quite cool but i find that the people there werent really paying attention which was sad cause as the English strong man guy gave his testimony, I felt that it was really quite a heart given testimony and that really can help people see the Power of God in other people's life but sadly not many listened sigh.... hopefully the closing ceremony would have a better response from the participents....

Well i guess that is about it and i need a drink of water and to take my poison well till next time peace out my homies...

Not as often but still blogging rite?? RITE??

2006-06-15T00:10:00.000+08:00

Well like the title said.... not as often but I am still blogging man at least it is not once a month..... maybe may end up like that but not at the moment...

Alright first off lets just recap my last couple of days.... First on Monday went to buy prezzies and bought a nice bottle of cologne for my Dad for Father's day... AwWW I am soo sweet right?? hahaha ok fine just joking there... I think this shall be the first year in a long time that i bought presents for my parents on all occasions so far.... my dad's bday i got him a book, Mother's day i got my mum a mug from precious moments and now Father's day got him a bottle of cologne, nxt shall be my mum's bday on 8th of August. Kinda cool iznt it, always knowing that your bday is on a holiday..... how cool is that, but sorry only applies in SINGIPORE!!! hehe i like saying that... haha ok well back to Monday, bought presents had lunch then went for a movie... watched Cars at TM and well it was an ok show now exactly funny till i am outa my seat like dodgeball, but still ok i guess. Dodgeball the last show i really laughed out of my seat and teared.... good show that... hahahahaha

Ok after that went for dance practice, doing Testify To Love by Avalon. I think Avalon songs are really nice and the lyrics are really meaningful. At the moment, my favourite is Everything to Me, basically the song is that I may know everything about Jesus and stuff like that, but why he does these things for me we will all never know untill the day we see God, but till then, because of all he has done for us, we should be treating him as everything that we do and that is my goal from now to the end of the year!!! that i would be able to see God in every area of my life. And what makes this song so special to me is that it really reflects what I maybe at this point of time, where i know so much but my aim should still be that God should be everything to me and not just what i know about him.

Ok on to tuesday, slept in really late cause i wanted to do that on Monday but a certain worm din let me to that, so well kinda replenish haha.... Anyway tuesday woke up really late like almost 4 had lunch checked World Cup Stuff where ITALY WILL WIN!!! ITALIA!!!!!! anyway coming back agian went for prac and went for dinner where bear told me that she had just subscribed to the world cup channels... I would like to but cause of my projects, and waking up early and stuff decided not to press for it at my own home so I wun get too distracted, well i was kinda joking by saying eh Brazil playing tonite, 3 am kickoff i go your house watch, and suddenly what started out as a joke ended up beiig reality as andreas took the lead and ended up calling quite a few people to watch and staying at my place, well in the end, i stayed home and watched my VCD and din go over, and I liked my show!!!! well i liked the ending at least... haha anyway didn really haf a good sleep cause every few hrs after i finished i got woken up by phone calls and andreas and porter playing games at 10am!! how do they get that energy? sleep at 6 wake up at 10 to play games and later in the night still go for practice.... Maybe if i was younger I would be able to keep up or maybe fitter but definately not in the shape i am in at the moment. So well yeah 3 days in this post!!! cool huh!!!

anyway wun be blogging for the nxt few days, gonna go for a camp and when i come back i gotta call my attachement company because i just read the email to call back... BUT I DUN HAF THE PHONE NUMBER!!! AHHHHH anyway i will find a way around it and till nxt time man peace out

I think i need some rest.....

2006-06-11T22:02:00.000+08:00

Wow finally some time where i can blog for the past few days... well actually was more of just a few days but sorry for the lack of post because of the leaders retreat that I was at and really was a good time of reflection and planning for the youth ministry.

First off YAY MY TEST ARE ALL OVER!!!! i think i din do too badly for most except my CMA which i think i already in retest slot.... sigh why can't i ever get my accounts right... it just seems to be one area on my studies that always fall short, BUT!!!! doesnt maater!!!! i shall still continue to press forward and still study and hope with God's help that i really will be able to shine in this area.... I shall be like the red engine that thought it could !!! HAHA!!! I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!

haha ok getting abit outa point... ok moving on... Really enjoyed the leaders retreat at the hotel because it gave me time and an opportunity to think about things that is always there but we choose to turn a blind eye or ignore that problem that is staring at us in the face... Ok i think i shall be organised in this so that it would be more understandable....

On the first night of the retreat was a period of time which we had to listen to a sermon by John Mcarthur entitled 'empty hearts' and found that the sermon was really interesting and puts a new twist to the parable that Jesus told about the wise man and foolish man who built his house on rock and sand respectivly. I think if i am going to consolidate my notes here, I would take at least 30 mins to do it so i shall just do a very very very very basic summary and the key phrase that was said. Basically instead of looking at the rock as Jesus as we always take it to be and the sand as other things, another perspective that we can look at it is from is that it represents the foundation on which our lives is and to sum it all up easily is that the validation of our salvation is through a life of obedience. I think the most relavent part of the sermon for me personally was when he started describing about how we always go around deceiving ourselves which pretty much what I do, turn a blind eye to the not so good things and i guess this is one thing that will affect me in every area of my life be it my relationship with God becaue i dun live a life of obeidence which in the end will affect my studies, relationships and everything and i will continue to strive the last part of the year to correct this and to take a more pro-active but a more critical way of how i live my life and with God's help I pray that I may strive to be a better instrument for Christ.

Anyway coming back to the whole retreat... ate alot of bak kut teh... gonna stay off that stuff for like the nxt few months man... total overdose but the soup is nice!!!!! haha what can i say i love soup but i din get to buy bread for the bakery down stairs.... so sad.... but bread was so nice and fragrant... never mind i can go back there and buy one day... okok i shall not divert away!!!! anyway spent a good deal of time evaluating ourselves in our minsity, the ministry itself and to come out plans for the nxt half a year and it looks REALLY EXCITING!!!! even as i just think about it i think it is going to be really really exciting for all the members and i hope that my enthusiasm will be able to carry through not just at the planning period but all the way to execution and with God's grace and help. I KNOW I CAN DO IT!!!!

haha well guess it was really a very fruitful time for me personally and well guess that's about all for me to talk about till next time peace out my homies.

ANNOYING

2006-06-07T21:42:00.000+08:00

you know i wonder what makes people so annoyed at things, people or situations cause today alot of things seem to make me wanna explode.... wonder if it is my emotional unstableness acting up or something else cause everything today seems to annoy me.....

First of woke up early to go to school for my OM test.... and waking up alone annoyed me cause i wanted to sleep more but just couldnt so in the end woke up alot earlier then i intended to like around 7. After that went to the bathroom and my dad was inside and he usually takes a super long so that got me even more annoyed. So i sat on the reclining chair wanting to catch more sleep when my mum came over and started asking me whether her clothes matched... i think her dress sense is ok already why bother asking me so just nodded my head and waited for my dad finally he was done and i went in did my stuff changed and went off to school....

Surprise i took the MRT today!!!! wow to me hahaha anyway got to the station where this group of people definately working people went the wrong direction at the ticketing booth and cut the stairs infront of me!!! talk about annoyed so i just gritted my teeth and went to the platform where i had to wait for the train... When it finally arrived which was like 4 mins later the whole train was already packed... so much being one of the first few stops in the east so had to stand among the crowds and this guy who i tink had been out drinking and smoking the whole night came on as well and stood right in front of me... talk about smell and i thought my dog was smelly this was like 10 times worse... i almost puked after the first breath and i got annoyed for not taking a cab down to school...

So stood in the MRT all the way to dover where i alighted and took 74 to school... For those wonderiig why i din go to clementi was simply because clementi is soooo crowded and i figured that would make me more aggitated so got off at dover and the one thing that made me smile today... the bus came as soon as i reached... so happily i got on the bus and went to school for my test....

Reachnig school, my test was held in a lecture hall and not the 72 exam so had to walk all the way to the back and me thought i could take a shortcut started to climb the grassy hill instead of walking one round to reach the front... Well not exactly the smartest thing to do because the hill was wet and it took me a harder time to reach the top espicially i was wearing slippers!!! arghh mud all over... well finally i reached the exam hall my tutor asked me what class so said TTB2 and went to my seat... well not exactly my seat cause some other classes had cut into my class so i had to sit somewhere else... sigh... so went to TB03 and sat down.. Through the course of my paper, the girl behind me was breathing super heavily... and was kinda distracting when the whole place is so quiet that people writing also can hear.... sigh so sat through it and did my paper...

The paper wasnt exactly hard but the tutors did a very bad job of how long it would take... at first i thought hmmm 1 hr paper not enough time for essay question and calculation question so maybe would be either 1 with theory in it... well guess i was wrong on that they came out both and it was almost impossible to finish in an hour and when they said stopped writing i barely managed to finish least think over the things i wasnt sure... so guess this paper is quite doomed so better prepare for a retest... so finally left school and went home....

Even on the bus home i got annoyed... the girl infront of me kept trying to get comfortable and kept hitting the seat... talk about annoying but as usual i just glanced over and tried to sleep which was unsuccessful and ended up watching some chinese drama on TV mobile... kinda sad for an hour journey.....so finally made it all the way home and turned my laptop on checked a few stuff and got tired and went to sleep till dinner time which was almost 8... Wow i am not going to get much sleep tonite it seems... haha anyway missed JS calls and sms cause i forgot to change my phone from silent so i can hear... opps sorry :X:X:X really sorry JS and anyway guess that pretty sums up my day!!!

hmm now looking back was really like everything that annoys me happened to me and still i was able to control myself even when my parents were abit annoying when they came back... but still i managed to keep it in control thank God and now i guess i better prepare my notes for KMS though i have a feeling that maynot help much but i shall do whatever i can to prepare... anyway that's all for today and peace out ya all. Til nxt time

hey i still blogging k!!!

2006-06-06T00:41:00.000+08:00

Heh for those ple who said i would stop i still blogging YES!!! but not a week yet hehehe anyway on with today's post....

First off spent the day at home really thinking about what has been going on and some stuff of how my life has been... Lets just say i had a hectic month and really things are kinda like spinning all around me and I just dunno what to make of it. So at this point of time, i think I shall just surrender everything to God and trust that He has a plan for me and that whatever happens He is still in control and ultimately will teach me something about myself and hopefully I would be able to become and more effective instrument for God wherever he places me.

On a lighter note, I recieved a confirmation from the company which i had talked regarding my attachment programme and i am so happy that they have a project during that period which i can be part of YAY!!!! at least I won't get some crummy company that will treat me as an office boy but instead i going to try my hand at some real work and I pray that I maybe enriched by this experiance that I am going to go through and that this would be a good time for me to learn stuff about the real working world. Oh did i add that i am going to get an allowence from them during this period... haha more money YAY!!!! and i dun have to spend on transport cause my place of work is on the way from my Dad's that means free rides and being near my dad means FREE FOOD!!! hehe i can save money for my Dual Core Processor Mac by the end of this year I hope.. wow.... playing WoW lagfree is a good thought..... hmmmm

Well also watched Di Vinci Code tonite... Felt that the show of course was totally fictional and could find alot of loopholes in the story after watching it but felt that the interesting part to be the code breaking... I mean to us phrases like what was used in the book was totally meaningless but rearranged makes total sense... i find that really cool just that i do not have the patience to do that kinda thing... Think i would actually just give up after a while and think that there is no way to solve it. But sometimes in our lives I think that we always look at things the way we want to look at it. Like for example that night my grandparents were talking about mp3 players( yeah like they would know much about it) and the difference a brand makes... They almost got some Akira brand mp3 which I seriously totally never heard before opposed to a Sony Mp3... Well that just makes me glad of my Ipod... YEAH!!!! anyway back to the story and how my grandfather could not... or rather refused to look past saying that paying for the branding... Now while that maybe true to a certain extent but it is definately going to be a better quality player and evantually more worth the money then the Akira brand and he couldnt just see past it. Which goes to show my point, how little we know of everything arund us because all we see is what we want to see like our hatred of school or test being pointless and stuff like that. It is all through our eyes only and this has helped me with the problems i face. Sometimes it just feels the way i feel because i see things the way i want to see things. But imagine if we could see what God sees, how different the world and everything around us would look and what appears bad for us we will be able to see the good in it. Interesting lesson today and i shall continue to explore this aspect... What would I see if I looked through God's eyes and look at myself. It is a scary thought but one i feel that i must take in order to improve myself. So maybe this is the first step in taking to see my mistakes and downfalls.

Hehe didnt know i would learn this from watchiig DiVinci code huh!! But i have to say... i throughly enjoyed the show and thought it wasnt as bad as the press and other people said about it but in the end we all know that it is just a piece of fiction and nothing to be taken seriously. Seems like i ran out of things to say so just a little shout out to ya all and peace out.

CHUNKY MONKEY!!!!!

2006-06-04T00:04:00.000+08:00

woohoo BEN AND JERRIES ICE CREAM ROCKS!!!!!

ok so went to sentosa today. And for some reason, the sun was blazing hot.. i mean it was way above the usual scorchin of the last few days but i guess was a good time to get a tan... so din really sleep the previous night... stayed up studying HRM and after that tossed in bed for a while i had a dream the i was not dreaming and well it was just wierd.... totally wierd and woke up and went down to church at 6am with the adreneline of the red bull still in me....

So reached church and guess what... the gate was still lock... SIGH!!! so waited around outside till kenneth and shermy reached and still Romans was not around... and so waited for him till he finally arrive and we started to prepare the breakfast stuff... We did scambled eggs so broke about 4 trays of eggs..... which was something that was quite fun hahahaha simple joys!!!! and after that fried it with luncheon meat... and yeah basically just made stuff ready and left for Sentosa...

When reached Sentosa, set up everything and me and mojo started taking photos actually we onli took 2 so we are not zi lian ok!!!! haha so after that the rest came and they started eating their breakfast and after that played some wierd games planned by dazzle and sherm and the funniest when i can see literally the groups throwing the chicken around by the head... haha so wierd right and after that the group went swimming while me, amy and sherm took the tram down to siloso beach and bough BEN AND JERRIES ICE CREAM!!!! HAHA CHUNKY MONKEY!!!!!!!! anyway my sec school friend Samantha was working there.. so coincidental right so caught up abit and she is going NUS... So fast all of us going off since the time in pri school....

So after that went for my HRM test and shudders... hope i pass well after that went back to church to get my bag still in mojo's car and went home to sleep.... now i am just dying from the lack of sleep and totally tired man... so shall stop here :P ok cya

Red Bull gives u WINGS!!!

2006-06-02T23:51:00.000+08:00

I love those adverts... really make u remember them and today is one of the few days that i need that vile disgusting drink..

Alright first off... sorry to jie xiong and the other guys cause i OVERSLEPT this morning... i know not really good and doesnt reflect well but was really tired... stayed up till i tink 4 last nite doing stuff and could not sleep cause... well i dunno but i just could not sleep till alot later and to reach school for a 9 am class is really not high on my agenda but still i really did not know what time it was till mojo called me and i saw the time was 12.03pm!!! AHHH i missed my classes already... sigh will not happen again i promise!!! anyway so met mojo at suntec for lunch.... BEAR ITS YOUR FAULT!!! BLOG ABOUT CARL'S JR AND MAKE ME WANNA EAT THAT!!! so in the end i did wahahhahahahah

so went through half the day thinking about my paper tomorrow... HRM 6 lectures to study for 4 questions... i think it is going to be a killer and hopefully i will be able to cram everything ii my brain before tomorrow when i go Sentosa...(interesting fact about sentosa... got this off the bb at friendster SENTOSA = SoExpensive and Nothing TO See Actually wahahhahaha) anyway so yeah watched abit of tv before going for church leaders meeting....

Interesting session this time, talked alot about the church mission vission and personally i felt that this was a good time to reflect upon myself as Pastor Lee talked about prayer being part of out lives. As i thought about it, in my life, i pray only when i need help or at night during my QT and sometimes i wonder do i take God for granted that he is always there or do I actually Thank God that he is there. Big difference in this and the way i treat God is really obvious, think i need to reflect more about this and see how i can improve on this situation but really i think alot of people do take God for granted in the way we live our lives like we take for granted the salvation he has given us and also his mercy for us in the way we live. But after asking ourselves this question then comes the next question.... how can i live my life in a way that shows that i thank God for all that he has done for me? good question i think personally for me anyway....

Now it is time for me to study... HRM paper tomorrow from 1.30 -3 hopefully i end by 2.30 then can go home :D haha so shant be sleeping much tonite... gonna help with preparing breakfast tomorrow... in church by 6.... so that gives me about... 2 hrs of sleep... RED BULL GIVES ME WINGS!!! haha hope it really can help me keep awake and abosorb what i learn.... well guess that is about it for now.... cya around

FIRST POST YAY

2006-06-02T02:53:00.000+08:00

haha i am retrying my hand at blogging cause I realised that at alot of times i really have nothing else to do... haha yes this blog is created at my bordom in school and at home so I hope I can mantain this one better then the previous one that I had on msn..... (erm someone wanna show me how to make my blog look nice i really have no idea how to... nvm shall ask the bear when i see her)

So today shall be my first post.... Thursday June 01 wow din realise the date to start so shall start with my day...

Had quite a unfulfilling day spent it in school going for 1 lecture KMS where my tutor was going through once again learning management systems and stuff like that kinda easy stuff cause basically it is just comparing one product from another, the problem might come when identifying the product which should not be a problem with internet nowzadays... hehe. Then after that lecture went for my IB class, kinda useless class where my tutor had nothing for us but din wan to let us go till 4!!! so i spent that time playing games with my frends and really had alot of fun. Going to continue it tomorrow during KMS tutorial. Interesting right?? haha.... must be saying GUYS!!!!

So after class met shermy the worm cause taking a cab back home was raining and din really like the idea of going home wet... so what other choice did i have cab rocks!!!! haha I think if I stop taking cab is the day i actually start driving... speaking of which i think i should really start going for the test and get my license hopefully i pray before i go for NS

Finally now did my QT just before i retired for the night. It was from quite a wierd book but interesting and learnt something nonetheless.

Rev21:2-4
I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away

It is really interesting to see how God is involved totally in our lives and that he is always there for us no matter what is going on or what mood we all are in. The pass few weeks for me has been a rollercoaster with alot of stuff going on and my feelings kept going up and down. But as i tried to graple with the things going on, i started to feel a sense of hopelessness and lost. I mean i was really down in the dumps but as time goes by and i focused more on the things going on in my life and on God, slowly but surely I manged to get over that phase in which God has really helped my through it. And also through God's grace, he has given me support over the pass few weeks and in the end, i emerged learning more about myself and really i think the turning point in all this is when a good fren asked me where is God in all the things that has happened and i realised i haven put him in the picture at all. Truthfully, I always think that i put God in all that I do but this realise that i have fallen from that and it was a good reminder for myself during this period to pick myself up with God's help again.

Wow first post and already quite alot... haha anyway stuff i shall look forward to is the leader's retreat nxt week... really looking forward to it as good time for me to reflect on my part in the ministry and how i can improve... ok time check 3.04am time to sleep i have a 9am class of accounts EGHHH i hate accounts but shall be back with more soon... YAY haha cya...