Welcome to Daryl's Blog

Heya, welcome to my blog.I know its not exactly updated that regularly but I will try my best to do it and hope
that you can read and pray for me


Daryl Yong currently 22. Serving NS and trying to look to the future


I R Rene
Dazzlyn
Gloria
Grace Tan
Peng Siang
Sarah
Shermaine
Xiao Hui
val
Amy
Carol
Minoru
Romans
Ranald
Chang Xiang

Wah really cannot believe I can cry so much watching a show. Marley and me really made me cry more then any other show that I have ever watched, honestly.I mean shows like I Not Stupid 2 I did tear abit but this show really started the waterworks. I guess besides me being a doggy person this show really helped me to enjoy something about animals that totally cannot be found in people.

At the end of the show, the writer of the show really ended it really well to sum up about having a pet. "A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water log stick will do just fine. A dog doesn't care if your rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he'll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary?" Seriously, sometimes or rather many times, I feel that the person that understands me the most is actually my dog.

Now to bring you back many years when I was in primary school. For most of you, I guess you may not know that my current dog Sinead (an Italian Greyhound) is kinda like my second dog and I love her so much. But my first dog is called Gnasher and watching this show really makes me think of him. The destructive bit and the hyper activeness really is quite similar except well, Marley is like 100 pounds and Gnasher was at most 30 pounds. But he was really an amazing dog where he sort of can sense so many things. Like when my mum used to scold me and stuff, he would patiently sit with me while I complained and sort of just being there for me. And many times when he wanted to play it was literally so much running and the countless times at void decks where I think he is well trained enough for me to take him off the leash, and suddenly boom there he goes running away from me and I had to run after him like from Bedok CC all the way to TJC before I actually can finally corner him and carry him back home. Such memories really stay with you and though he died really young, like 4 or 5 years old, I really remember him and forever he will be part of my life.

Dogs can really be special in your life and the best thing is that besides taking care of them which at times when you think about it, it really isn't that much. The walks that don't take up a lot of time, feeding and stuff but the amount that you get back is really so much more then you can give. Its really the unconditional love that comes from them to you. They really don't care if you are rich, poor or whatever. All they want is to have you around and that really is all that they ask for. Actually now that I think about it, it sometimes just reflects what God wants from us as well. The relationship that is some what similar to what we should have. But personally at times, I really find it so hard. Especially when facing really difficult times, its not so much of the mental state or the spiritual side that makes it hard. But for me I realized that I need something that I can physically touch or physically be with to help me through it. I think that's why God never meant for us to be alone. Every stage of my life, I really thank God for the people he placed around me. But most of all I guess the people that I always take for granted will be my family where no matter rain or shine they will definitely be there for me.

Anywho, I think I am really starting to get tired and so sorry for such a long time without posting stuff and tonight's post does seem abit incomplete but I guess lately I been having a writer's block where actually I have so many things I want to blog about but just can't seem to put it in words. Anyway will try to update soon with something more. Till next time peace out

Labels: Marley And Me

Whoooo!!! I just finished watch the latest season of scrubs and I really really love the show. Find that that the show is really my favourite show of all time. I guess why I really like this show is that while it is funny and really interesting and nice to watch, at times, the characters in the show and the situations that they go through is really real. Espicially on the themes that the show likes to go around about, relationships, the future and really every aspect that you will face in life.

Lately after coming to a sudden realization of certain thing in my life, I actually started to feel emo and really quite depressed. It really is so sad, that at this point of time when I start thinking about how are the next 5 years of my life going to be like, the sad realization is that there is such a high chance that I will be most likely meeting the same friends (not that I am complaining here ok?) at the same places, doing the same things and having quite a similar conversation. Drawing a comparision to the show, over the last 8 years, no doubt the characters have evolved becoming soo different at the end of it, from where they started at. Medical interns to residents to chief of a certain department and how in my life, starting out as a wide eyed child to a whiny and complacent "invincible" teen to now in my 20s where life is just starting out. Work, family and the whole works, its just daunting thinking about it. 

Sometimes I think I am really kinda weird. One thing that I really wish about my life was that it was like a show, because whenever I want, I would like to at times just go back to the beginning. That is not saying that I wish I could change something in my past or that I want more but sometimes, I wish I can just go back and experiance what it was like when I was going through that paticular incident. Doesn't really have to be a good experiance or a terrible one but I always know that whatever God has placed us through is ultimately what makes us who we are today. Yesterday alone was the day where I really wish that I could do this in my life. Through out the day, it was really hectic, playing for service then after that had to do all the recordings done, after recordings was the 30th anniversary drama run through and then finally my day was over around 6. Then after that I went for a really fruitful and satisfying talk with Sarah and Gwenda about the past, present and future.

I think I really learn or rather reflect alot about my own life whenever I watch scrubs, I really can feel what the main character goes through espicially when I watch each stage of where he was, from starting out as a intern, to a resident, to co-chief resident and finally to in the end leaving the hospital, I guess I can really relate to it espicially in my role in church espicially in the youth ministry. I know that I don't really talk about so what do I want to do after this period, and generally though I don't voice it out much, it is 1 thing on my mind. Like now my age is 22, been in youth ministry as a member and leader for coming to close to 9 years and actually for the past year I started asking, how much longer do I actually see myself in this, youth ministry, the same group of people being like minded, even to the extend of, will I ever decide to uproot myself and find somewhere else. 

Haha to those that watch scrubs, I think I love the show so much is because I can relate so much to the character in all the situations that he is being placed in. The emotions that he feels, the thoughts and at times weird stuff that runs through my head (yes it does happen) and although I do not really openly show the emotion that he shows, or the way he expresses himself, the thoughts and feelings that go through his inner monologue is really similar to what I think and feel. Haha actually at times even I have an inner monologue that goes through my head but more about the people around me how situations are instead of actually narrating it all. But coming back to the point, watching each season really brings me back to all the things that I have gone through in SNP till now. From when I was a member, doing all the silly stuff like going around and asking "WHO CALLED ME CUTE LITTLE BOY" to when I first became an intern, where I started feeling, I am so ready for it I can do anything to I don't think I can actually do so much to the end where just becoming a leader where I started to ask myself am I really ready to lead. To a leader where responsibilities at times felt like a burden, seeing members not moving in the direction that I wish they would. Juggling studies and ministry. Events and members and the whole thing. To now where I am out of SNP in desire still moving forwards.

Basically I think the last part of scrubs really sums up how I actually feel in the entirety of it, when I felt I was about to leave SNP itself, though still around. And should I decide to move forward in life:

"I guess it's because we all want to believe that what we do is very important, that people hang on our every word, that they care what we think. The truth is, you should consider yourself lucky if you even occasionally get to make someone - anyone - feel a little better. After that, it's all about the people that you've let into your life. and as my mind drifted to faces that I've seen in here before, I was taken to memories of family, of co-workers, of lost loves, even of those who have left us. And as I rounded that corner, they all came at me like a wave of shared experience."

For a more visual aspect can watch this video. Haha why didn't I just do this earlier.

Like I said, I think I can really relate to the main character because everytime I think I am leaving some place for good or for an extended period of time, I just sometimes imagine this exact scene (thought the exact people) happening to me. And sometimes it just doesnt make me want to move even if God would send me there. Whether I would respond in 1 of look towards the future, and just go confidently, or will I always just hold onto the past, just like I am doing now. To the people, and places where I feel comfortable and safe. Where I know how it is going to be like. But the ending comment of this sequence does give me some comfort. Which that even though it felt warm and safe, I know that it has to end sometime. It's never good to live in the past too long. But the future is still there and with God guiding, I know that it will always turn out what is best for me.

To end off, I go back to the point where I wish my life was like a show. Something can be relived, and everytime it ends, if you want it to start again, you can just replay it from where you want. Each individual event, each encounter that I have had with the countless of people around me, to the feelings that I felt all my life. But I guess this is where I always want to live in the past, live with what to me was warm and safe. To where I know it will never end, never looking forward to change. But I guess this is something that is impossible and can never happen and the only thing I can do is to look forwards, towards the future, where who knows what can happen, the uncertertainty. And just thank God for all the people, places, experiances, situations that has happened, that allows me to take that future and really work towards it.

Hehe sorry this post is soo long but I just had this feeling to get it out, that it is really time to share more about myself and that it really will be an interesting read and something for you guys to think about as well as to know me better.

Well till next time, peace out.

Feeling super full man today. Today is my brance, WPS cohesion day! Hehe went to kushinbo to eat lunch man. Guess some of you are wondering, huh branch what? cohesion day?? what on earth is that so let me start from the end of my last post.

Well I finally got my OOC!!! Haha I think many of you know that but after that I basically hung around OETI (Ordenence engineering training institue), my Ayer Rajah camp for roughly 2 weeks as an AS. An AS is like an Auxillary Staff, which means sit around waiting for the phone to ring, being thrown around as extra help where ever someone needs it like to logistics branch or for me thrown to IT dept cause of my background to help the warrent there to dunno do what powerpoint slides and stuff like that. So it was quite enjoyable knowing that my future would lie far far far away from repairing a tank for the next 2 years. Seriously I thank God about how he has brought me through army so far, and even now as where he has placed me. But to carry on it was the slackest 2 weeks in my whole life. Typical day as an AS in OETI:

Report at 7.15AM to account for strength.

Go back to office sit around and talk or read book or at times, try to sleep without getting caught.

At 8.30, go down to canteen for breakfast :D

Sit around and talk to roughly 9.30 or sometimes 10

Go back to office resume activity that was done before breakfast and wait for lunch at 11.30

Lunch till roughly 1plus or longest was 2

Sit around till 3.30

3.30 go for afternoon break till about 4 or 4.15

it around and wait to hear the magic words, FALL OUT around 5 or 5.15 latest 5.30.

Its like ultra slack man but also kinda fun seeing new people who OOC and why they OOC, or seeing a different side of our officers joking around with us. Like my pot bellied warrent officer who likes to boast about being a top notch performer in physical training in his youth and always commenting "You young people should blame your parents for treating you till now every problem also have." Hehe I think he doesnt know that most of these ailments are only severe during NS and nothing more, but sadly for me not true cause everytime I have an aching eye or sneezing fits, its really not fun and scary at the same time. So those 2 weeks kinda just flew by for me. Then suddenly 1 Thursday afternoon sitting around in office chatting and laughing, cause OC wasnt around that day I recieved a phonecall. The person just said, Hi my name is so and so and I am from CPC. Can I come down and talk to you for a while.

My blood literally froze and i was kinda stunned. Because its like CPC controlls where every single SAF personnal is being posted and for those who know what happened before I OOC, it was literally a very scary moment. Was I in trouble, why ask only for me and no one else? SIAO LIAO! But nonetheless, I just said erm... ok what time and it was going to be 5 minutes time at my camp main building at the lobby. Shall cut a super long story short, and basically he is from CPC WPS branch in charge of promotion for warrent and specialist so basically I'll be working with alot of data.

My past coming to 2 weeks have really been fun. The people at the branch are really friendly, well at least to me and at times not really to each other haha quite a fair bit of bickering and stuff going on in a branch that only has a maximum of 10 people. The 2 DXOs are really very nice, and so far I guess cause I am the new guy, even my warrents are really nice to me, although I have heard stories about other things. So today, we had our branch cohesion day where we went kushinbo for lunch and after that walked to SMU settlers where surprisingly I had a really good time. Really thank God for where he has led me to and where he has placed me so far in army and really for all that has happened the way He has taken care of me.

Today also had 2 really funny things happened to me. During lunch one of the NSF who has already ORDed came back to kinda see what was going on and to catch up with people and the officers (according to my Upper who is the person who is teaching me the ropes of my position here before he ORDs, he is my officers favourite NSF). And he was kinda like asking me, so what did you do before you enlisted. One of the other people working with me was like OH! he is like a super staunch christian while I was left with my mouth open cause I haven't even a chance to reply. Then my DXO was like aiyah let him talk lah. The whole scene was really funny but I guess cause when they asked my views on certian things, I guess that was how he viewed me and yeah it was kinda a funny scene to be in.

The second was after we left settlers I forgot my cap (as usual but we didn't walk that far, was like 10 steps away!) and went back to get it. Then one of the guys working in settlers was clearing our table when I walked back then he suddenly called me and said, eh you were from YFC right? Then all I could say was erm... yeah.., then he continued PARTS ministry? then i said yep. Then suddenly he asked, your name is Daryl right? haha I was left quite stunned cause I haven been involved in SYFC for quite sometime, my last being 50th anniversary and I did not know that my name had spread that far. So I just casually like asked, Oh so what ministry were you from? So he said West then went over to Poly ministry. Then asked him how he knew my name and his reply was, Oh your name is quite famous around. It's really like thanks ah.... famous for what??? Hope its something good :X:X:X

Anyway I am really enjoying myself at where I am now. Really hopes it continues for me and that whatever God has prepared for me, that I really have the faith to lean on Him, courage to face it with Him and the diligence to let Him lead me through it. So till next time, peace out.

Sigh, I seriously can't sleep and I guess its because tomorrow is my medical appointment with the specialist for my nose (sinus as usual) and ezyma. You know its kind of weird that I am actually worried because I actually have had these ailments for quite some time and only know when they actually work in my favour am I really thinking about it.

For those who have no idea what is going on let me give you a brief summary. I have finished BMT, posted as an armour technician (fancy word for mechanic) then because of the environment (dusty and dirty) I have my nose acting up almost everyday and well, lets just say it really is torturous. But then again my mum did point out me having a bad attitude towards the place doesn't help my disposition much becuase whether I stay on there or not is not entirely up to me. I can propose what I wish to do, but it always comes back to the superiors to decide if that is the choice for me or not. 

I really hate worrying because it really eats at me day and night. And because I can get really focused on that objective that I really loose sight of alot of things that are right before. The past week has really been bad, and everything seems to be going wrong since I came, well at least from my miserable perspective. Was late on my second day (fall in timing was 7.30 I reported at 8.45) thank God my Sgt Maj was understanding that I was not feeling really well (actually is just cause I went to bed really late cause of the coldplay concert) allowed me to report sick and the very nice reservice MO gave me an MC for the day. Then next few days just kinda got worse and worse where my those people that I actually started to talk to because it entirely is a new group for me just started OOCing and kind left me there and it really isn't a nice feeling. And then today, I thought I dropped my phone as I got into the cab. Ran around my block for like 10 mins. Wasted my own money and was ALMOST late again. And finally everytime I travel, it just seems that every single red light is out to stop me. 

Finally comes to this time, 1 night before I finally know what is going to happen to me and it only is at this time that I really sit down and reflect on the past week. I guess the week is pretty much crappy only because I am crappy. Take for example, don't you realise that when you are in a rush, everything that can go wrong will go wrong? Can't get the transport, bus comes late or had to wait a super long time. Or even worse, can't get a cab! Then once you get on you realise WAH LAU THE DRIVER REALLY CMI LAH!!! DRIVE SO SLOW!!! then every traffic light is red and stops you. If going across singapore suddenly the road seems sooo congested, big vehicles are everywhere getting in the way. Or there is a jam! Then you finally reach your destination and you feel flustered aggitated and it kind of sets the tone for the whole day. For me I guess its exactly the same thing. Just that in a bigger propotion. I am not sure now but I guess I wanted to be sick to not go to camp and to get my different excuses and to finally OOC. But that attitude in the end just hurt myself the most, cause if in the event I don't get what I want, I am going to feel worse and the course is going to be 3 months, and whether I like it or want to or not, I will have to go through it. And those around me cause I will start to moan and groan and just be bad company all around.

It was under this thoughts that finally led me to Philippians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

I have always shared about my life, how I hated things like my sec school but as I look back, it really was fun and made me who I am and countless other examples. So at this juncture, why do I feel worried again? Don't I trust that God has a plan for me and that whatever He has planned for me ultimately is for my growth and never to destroy me. Worrying really eats at people and it really isn't a good thing to have in our lives. Already God has commanded us "Do not be anxious about anything." This really is an encouragement for me to say Yeah God is in control, no use for me thinking about what is going to happen, the conclusions because God already knows that. And if God knows that and he has a plan for me, why do I even want to think about it for? Its like trying to think and change a conclusion that has already happened. 

I guess this blog post is really for myself to reassure myself that God is there and that whatever happens, be it I get to OOC or I have to stay on in this course, I should keep a positive outlook that God is in control. And that whatever happens is through God. So do pray for me that I will remember this lesson, and that whatever happens, I will not be too affected by it. Till next time peace out. 

PS: If I stay in this course I do have guard duty on 11th of April (Mimby DAY AHHH). Actually I am on standby so whatever happens will happen. Hope my friends wun say dun wan to come because of my uncertainty on whether I am there. 

Hey guys updating once again. Gonna start on a super exciting topic for me first. THE COLDPLAY CONCERT WAS TOTALLY WORTH EVERY CENT OF $191!! The concert was really off the hook man, totally was jumping singing and really just enjoying the whole concert. I think coldplay is really one of those bands that don't just focus on the music they play but the whole visual aspect of the concert added sooo much to the atmosphere. Lazers and projections onto screens and balls. And of course, the energy of the band was really high that it actually caused almost the whole crowd to stand on their feet and moving with the music and cheering for the whole concert.

I think overall, the concert was really one of the best that I have seen in a long time, and I really have no regrets taking time to watch them in Singapore and really, their music is really nice and so much better live. It is so good that now when I actually listen to the MP3s on my com, I don't really feel that kick that you get watching live man. A word of advice for all music fans, the next time coldplay actually makes a trip to Singapore, make sure you catch them. I assure you that you will not be dissapointed.

Well moving onto the more mundane stuff in life. Well I POC liao as I said in my previous post and I got my posting. My posting is auto tech A veh. For those who have no idea what that is, it is actually a tank mechanic. Honestly I don't know why from the second I got this posting, my heart was really not at easy. I honestly don't think its because of the distance of the camp, Ayer Rajah which is actually nearer to my home compared to Ngee Ann Poly. or neither is it the fact that I may get to stay in after my course (although after checking with alot of my commanders and seniors, that fact is not entirely true because I actually stay out most of it unless there is a high key exercise and I actually attach to a unit and not a base). This feeling has really been pleaguing me for quite some time time. It is that feeling of nervousness and dread which I seriously don't understand why I feel that way because it has quite a number of things that I actually like.

1) Actually doing real work, as in you can see the results not like as a clerk where you really cannot justify your presence at all honestly.

2) I actually get to work with vehicles that I will never get to touch or even lay eyes on for the rest of my life outside NS. I mean tanks, WOW. It is kinda like a dream come true for me, being able to touch this things, drive them and actually find out totally how it works.

3) At the end of my NS time, I actually can say that my NS has been something that is really meaningful, learning this skill and stuff as a technician.

However 3 days into being in camp, my nose and skin has really been acting up. I even feel a hint of my iritis is even starting to flare up abit. My eye does feel numb and piercing pain at times, but I pray it really isn't going to be that because if it is, I am in for a really rough patch of 6 mths. After taking some time to consider my physical state as well as talking to my parents, we came to a decision that I should try to request for an OOC (Out Of Course) from being a mechanic and most probably be reassigned to another vocation. I really am not trying to chao keng cause I think if I am totally fit, I would love to try this vocation and carry on. But for the sake of my well-being I think that this is the best course of action for me to take.

And this comes to the second roadblock. So far it has been like 3 days in camp, and already the current MO who is in my camp for reservice has given 26 people OOC. And higher ups have already called him up demanding explainations and stuff for his actions. And now the kicker, for being technicians, they have assigned alot of PES C (Meaning physically not well due to conditions) to be technicians. And there are problems like back problems, knee problems, leg problems, and in my case, sensitive to dirt and most probably grease and oil. So the MO was like come on, they all have valid excuses why are they even here in the first place. But the bottom line is this, I am going for my specialist consultation on tuesday, and by then, the MO maybe really really reluctant to acceede to my request. So I do feel abit scared because I guess it really is my whole wellbeing that is being put in jeopardy if they insist that I continue with my current vocation.

So please do pray for me, that whatever happens that God will continue to look over my wellbeing. I really don't know how it will go but I have the support of my course mates whom we have been talking together for the past 3 days. And also afew of my superiors do feel that I do have a valid concern and now it just rest in the hands of 1 medical officer who will decide my fate. So pray that I would be able to be out of this vocation and that I will be reassigned to something else that would have a less impact on me. Well till next time, peace out :D

YAY GOING TO POC LOH!!!! Actually, I feel like my BMT has really been very fast. And before I know it I don't have to go back to Tekong (I really hope so, food lousy, boring place really but the atmosphere of the place can be very relaxing. Nice place for a resort actually.) Well for those who do not yet know, I have applied to audition for MDC (Music & Drama Company). It was really not an easy decision for me because of quite a few factors.

1) Depending on how it is run because I totally have no idea, it is quite a risk due to me actually having less time out compared to if I was a clerk which is a confirmed 8-6 work timing (Most probably actually)

2) Actually this year, I have been thinking alot and I was thinking about the position that God has actually placed me this year. Being in Desire where it takes me kinda out of my element and comfort zone. Being with people that are younger then me and really be focused on building people up through me. And also Desire being an older CG, doesnt really revolve around events and stuff like that so that has really stripped me of what I think my strengths are. And maybe I thought I can really grow to be a better leader a better servant if maybe I learned even more about myself through God in this situation that He has placed me in.

So basically, after my audtion if I get in, then yay, if not, well its alright, I am sure that God has something good planned for me to learn and to grow in Him through this year. Anyway this coming week, I really doubt I will be able to call anyone after Monday cause it will be my long awaited (and slightly dreaded) field camp. Honestly, I dunno what to expect and the element of not knowing is seriously killing me more then anything else. I think now I have really grown into someone who hates the unknown. I feel so much better knowing what is going to come, be it in just like army, which is why in my whole platoon, I am one of the few that actually goes and finds out what we are going to have, what kind of training and things like that, to even events that I am involved in, know what is going to come up and who is suppose to do it and things like that.

Well so much for what is to come, do continue to pray for me

1) Health: Starting to fall sick, having a sore throat, cough and quite a bad headache. Just pray that as I go through this week with field camp that I would not let it affect me too much and that I will go through it well.

2) My field camp: Well sleeping in the jungle, infested with snakes insects and wild boars, need I say more

3) My MDC audition: Well basically that God reveals what he wants for me, whether to be involved in something I enjoy or wanting me to learn something new in my life

Well now to give you guys some recap on what has happened to me. Army life, well to me has been quite fun. Really surprised that I actually have been able to adjust well. But I really gotta give a big thank you for all those that has been my support through out my "adjustment" period (which actually is my 2 wks confinement period) and thus far. Seriously being away from civilization and not having my freedom, doing what I want and things like that is really quite hard for me. And to all those that I been calling, thank you for actually just talking to me because it has really helped me cope with being away and being in camp and everything. I honestly think that if you guys havent been so understanding and just talking to me, I think I would not be able to say I am actually enjoying army and most probably I would not have the current mindset that I do have now. Anyway the past 4 weeks of army has been not too bad. Alot of running, shot my rifle, missed marksmen by 1 target. Sigh sad man. and officially, I have lost close to 10kg in 1 week. Guess having crappy cookhouse food izznt that bad.

Hehe and I promised someone that I would blog about this incident I had over the phone and see if you can find out who this person is on your own. This person shall just be X :P

Daryl: So what are you going to teach?
X: humility
Daryl: Wah humility. You know you are now talking to a person who has the most humility
X: Yeah right
Daryl: Yeah the most humble, the smartest, the most good looking person on earth
X: HA, by saying that where got humble, you are totally not humble lor.
Daryl: Yes I am see I am humble what
X: No (Goes on to attack my humility)
Daryl: okok fine, I am not humble but since you did not say anything about me being the smartest or the most good looking person on earth your silence means its true 

haha, blur man this person really haizzzz. Was really a funny conversation that occured while I was in camp and it like totally made my whole week. I'll give you guys a hint of who this person is. It is someone who is getting more and more blur every week. I am sure with this info you guys will know who it is. 

Ah well I guess actually blogging helped me sorta get over my fear feelings for field camp. So till the next time I blog, which I promise will be around when i POC (March 10 please note this date down) peace out :D

I think I really am going crazy man. It is now 2.07AM 28th January. And yes I am going to enlist at 9.30 AM later. Well people have been asking me, so how are you feeling. Honestly, my feelings just keep changing about this matter. At times I honestly do look forward to it (yes I already did say I am going crazy), but I have gone through fear, like how is my life going to be like. Am I going to be able to adjust well to this rigid system. Sien-ness, like why on earth, after medical personal have said that I am so called "unfit" to go out of base do they actually want us to enlist at the end of it. I mean its weird, enlisting to be a clerk or something. I am sure actually if they get like full time people to do it, it would be more efficient and cheaper and free up more people to do other things.

But then again, rambling on and on about this doesn't change the fact that I am going to become a soldier and I am going to for my National Service. so this will be the last blog post for at least the next 7 weeks or so till I come out from my BMT. Just to show you what a crazy week I really had. Been to bed around 5 or 6 am almost every night. Watched shows, ate good food, drank good drinks (SAKE!) went karoke at 11pm at night till 4 am. Ate macs at 5am and sat around to 8am before going home. Flew kites, and basically had a blast. I guess I am really just trying to put NS out of my mind but it can't really stay out cause its so near and imminent. Even while typing this, I am seriously going through like an array of emotions, but I don't really feel that anticipation anymore cause of the things that I seriously enjoy doing, and the people I love hanging out with, its going to be harder to do this for a long time.

Anyway, instead of getting emo, I think I shall reflect more on the past week and talk about the so meaningful things that has happened. I shall start with the newest thing, went to Glozzlyn (sorry couldn't help myself Gloria :P) house for dinner and in attendence was : Amy, Ben, Romans, Ivy, Jean Shen, Jean Le, Daniel, Sherm, Gloria, Sara (Glozzlyn's fren), Gwenda, Kenneth and of course yours truly :D. And somehow I have no idea why the whole night they were making me do stuff by just saying, "But its your last day". Sounds like I am going to die or going overseas for good man. Sigh. But at the end, I was sorta forced to say something about each person in the house, be it good or bad that I have kept in my heart for a long time. Honestly, I think it was good to a certain extent but having to voice such intimate stuff espicially since I never told anyone (its something that I have held on to on my own for all this time) is not exactly the best thing to do? And further more, I think I express myself better when I am alone with that person or maybe even through other means, like writing a card. But I don't always do this kinda things because I think I really like to be sinciere about it, and that really needs time. So before anyone reads this, because I doubt you will till I am in Tekong, I announce that I still do keep things to myself. Guess I really am a very private person and will take alot of time for me to open up. But do take heart, I am slowly trying to do it and I think I have come quite a way from even a year ago where I don't think I am this open. But I do really appreiciate the gesture that you have done and I really hope that one day, I can be as open with you guys as you are with me. Or at least I think you are :P.

Moving on, I been in alot of serious conversations about the future recently. And no its not the where will I be working or where will I be studying or what will I be doing kind of future. But its something that I feel its so much more important then these things. Who will each one of us be with, when will we actually commit to another human being the rest of our lives together sort of future. And as we talked more and more about it, I realised that I actually put marriage very high on my priority list. Haha, I know its weird right. For someone like me who LOVES my freedom, being able to do what I want when I want (well at least before army) to want to get tied down with someone else. But I really do think it is part of our human nature or human instinct if you want that we find someone, with whom we can talk to, share our thoughts and dreams with, fears and every aspect of our life with. I think people who actually say that they don't need anybody is really lying. Because seriously, how can you get through life alone. In the end, you maybe able to accomplish it but it will be a sad, tragic life. On the show The Leap Years, there is a quote "It's hard to resist the temptation of loving someone for the sake of being with someone, so I think you are really brave to wait for the right one to come along. People don't want to be alone." And I really find this so true. Being through the past 22 years I guess even now as I go to army, I think that if I do have someone special on earth that I can share this experiance with, I really think it would be that much easier to deal with. And with the friends I have, I do know that I will come out of it better and hopefully stronger and that the next 7 weeks on Tekong is what God is preparing for me as I enter this "holding" phase before uni.

Well I am really quite tired now, haha almost 3am already leh! and I need to wake up early somemore. Continue to pray for me even as I go through my army term. I guess I am starting to really be hit by I am going to be gone for at least 7 weeks and if God wants me to go through certain things, even the next 2 years. I will see if I am able to blog in the middle of my army term on Tekong but I won't be online from now till the 14th of Febuary. Haha ironic right, confinement ends on Valentines Day. But I do believe that God already has a plan for me. And no matter how much I may want something, God knows when to give it to me if He does or if he doesn't He has His plan as well. But till I blog again or see you guys when I come out. Peace out. :D.